Becoming Human.

May 21, 2010
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“He doesn’t even like me anymore, I doubt we’re still friends,” She told me, but after that I blocked her out. Does she know how completely lucky she is? How lucky she is to have someone that cares for her and she can disagree with? I don’t even think she realizes what she’s saying. She could have any guy in this school if she stopped dwelling on the past and used her time to learn how to be independent, because I don’t think she knows how.

She always needs a man, always needs a shoulder to cry on, always needs someone to listen to her problems, always needs something she doesn’t have. She doesn’t get that my smile is forced when I speak to her. She just doesn’t get it. Does she always have to be something she’s not? I don’t think so because she knows who she is, and so do I.

She’s needy.

She’s whiny.

She’s sad.

She’s depressed.

Then she’s happy.

She’s scared.

But of what?

She’s mad.

She’s naïve.

She’s kind.

She’s my best friend.

This is why I am forced to listen to her problems. Does anybody see that I am things too? Does anybody see that I need a shoulder to cry on? Does anybody realize who I am? I know she does, she just pushes the feeling away in order to vent her problems. But I am things too.

I’m friendly.

I’m kind.

I’m supportive.

I’m respectful.

I’m reserved.

I’m sad.

I’m pushed aside.

I’m nothing.

I’m dust.

I’m a speck of dust.

I’m oblivion.

I’m see through, like air only less important.

I’m a best friend.

Is this why no one listens? Maybe I need to become more, more of who I am. But I can’t, because I don’t know where to start becoming human.

“Are you listening?” She asks.


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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Aspiringauhor said...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Okay, this is definitely my favorite of all your work. Much better than any "friendship" piece I have ever done. So true in terms of the relationship between two best friends. :)
LastChapter said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 5:36 pm
ahhh! i love that last part! this was really good! just some small edits here and there, like when she says she's dust, then a speck of dust, i know the intention was to say she was something as small as dust, then change her mind and say she was something even less significant, but they're the same thing. also, when she's describing herself, it's good that you highlight her good qualities, but if she's talking about herself, it sounds sort of conceited. especially coming from someone who suppos... (more »)
bubblee96 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Hey! Thanks so so so much for commenting. About when she's describing herself, I was trying to get a feel for like she's trying to list her good qualities and stand up for herself (it would be read in a stronger voice) and then when she gets closer to the bottom she dwindles down to her self consciousness again (which would be read in a weak voice until when she says no of course) but thanks and I will DEFINETLY comment on your stuff!
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