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I Didn't Tell
People make decisions for you all the time. People don't let you choose what to do or how to do it. But, the one thing that people can't tell you how to do is mourn.
April 5th, 2010 - 3:15 pm
The bell shook me awake as school ended. This is what I've been waiting for all day. This is what I've been waiting for all week in fact. The day my best friend, Kayla, and I get to hang out. The single day of the week I get to do this. Friday, 3:15 pm to 5:15 pm when we are allowed to do whatever we want; whenever we want.
I reached underneath my chair and pulled out my black and silver notebook. At the beginning of the year I stated putting one heart on for every Friday that passed. The book was now dotted with hearts. I leant behind me and pulled out my pencil case and drew out a silver pen. The familiar smell of the pen's fumes engulfed my nose. As I finished the outline of the heart I chucked it back into my pencil case and threw it in my backpack. I zipped up the black zipper and lugged the red bag onto my back as I did everyday. I pushed up off the desk and stood up straight. By now everyone had already left and the only people left in the room was Kayla, the teacher (Mrs Revland), and I.
"Okay, let's hit the mall Kayla." I say to her as I walk toward the door where she was standing.
"That works. I need a new eyeliner anyway." She replied as she pulled open the door and stepped out into the deserted hallway.
We walked down the hall silently as we always did. When we were in fifth grade whenever we went down the hall together we pretended that we had to be perfectly silent or the teachers would give us detention. We both knew that it wouldn't happen but it gave us something to do while walking to the mall, or her house, or my house, or the park, or wherever we were going for the day.
As soon as we left the building I turned to Kayla and said quietly, "How are things at home?"
"There... okay." She replied then turned away.
It was blistering hot that day and the sun was beating down our backs. I could feel the heat of the cement through my sneakers as we walked down the street.
"Has she stopped beating you?" I pressed.
Kayla hesitated before saying, "N-no."
"Maybe we should get the police involved..."
"No! No... She was just smoking at the time so she wasn't thinking right." Kayla explained trying to excuse her mother's actions.
"Kayla... I really do think we need to get someone involved."
"Maybe... But she is a good person. I know she means well." Kayla said her eyes filling up with tears.
We kept on walking and I dropped the subject. We came to a cross road and I turned to Kayla again seeing that she wasn't tearing up again.
She turned to face me too and then she took a deep breath and said, "My mom is planning on moving. She said we're going to move to West Virginia."
"Oh, well that'll be great fun. I'll come and visit some time." I replied shocked by the sudden news. "When are you going?"
"Tomorrow. This'll be our last day together. I just found out this morning." She explained.
As I was opening my mouth to say more her phone rang loudly. Her mother got angry if she didn't answer her phone.
"H-hello?" Kayla said into the receiver. There was a pause and then she said, "Yes, I'll come home now." Another pause and then said said, "Goodbye."
Kayla turned to me and looked me in the eye.
"I have to go home. My mom... my mom wants me to pack." She said with a sad voice.
"It's okay Kayla. I'll go home now too. I'll see you soon in your new home." I said before hugging Kayla tightly.
"Goodbye." She replied in a quiet voice.
She let go and turned around and started walking towards her house. She was just a block away so there was no need to worry about her not getting home safe. I turned around and started headed in the opposite direction towards my home. When I arrived home I went straight to my room. I walked down the stairs for dinner but did not mention Kayla or her leaving. I trudged up to my room and fell asleep in my clothes.
When I awoke it must have been mid-day. I looked around groggily then got up and headed downstairs. I would have a shower later I decided. I walked into the living room with the TV on and my mother sitting on the couch. She looked up at me with sad eyes like she knew something bad that I didn't.
"Hey hun, come and sit down. I have some cereal waiting for you here." She said slowly.
"Okay." I said simply.
I lowered myself onto the chair and picked up the cereal. My mother watched me eat then took the bowl back into the kitchen. When she came back she sat down next to me closer than normal. She put her arms around my shoulders.
"I have some bad news. Kayla was found dead at her house last night." My mother said softly.
I just sat and stared at my mother with my eyes swelling with tears. Kayla was gone. I'd never see her again.
"How did she die?" I asked on the verge of bawling.
"She was beaten to death by her mom. They found her mom's body in her room overdosed with heroin. Did... did you know that her mother was beating her?" My mother asked quietly.
"Yes... I wanted to tell the police but Kayla didn't want me to. She said her mother didn't mean it." I replied.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." My mother comforted me.
"It was my fault. If I had told the police.... If I told them then she'd be f-fine." I said.
I put my head on my mom's shoulder and began to cry my eyes out. Nothing would ever be the same again.