Just A Check Up

May 17, 2010
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Hey there! Long time no talk. Ok well maybe it hasn’t been that long. We talk every week or so, for maybe like 5 minutes. Definitely how we foster a friendship I guess.

So I’m dying to know, did you mean what you told me the other day? Remember, that one time that we actually talked. And we talked for awhile too, like an hour if I recall. Most of that time wasn’t what I had actually wanted to talk about, but it was nice knowing that you were willing to talk to me.

So when I told you we needed to talk, I had every intention of telling you I didn’t even want to be friends anymore, yet somehow that didn’t happen… How do you do that? Like I said last time I’m ok with that. Yet ever since then well to be honest there is no friendship there. I told you that, and you told me you understood what I meant. Also you said that you didn’t know what happened, and that you never wanted to do what you did to me again. I’m assuming you mean that leading me on type of thing I talked about before.

So we jump from deep conversation about if we still are friends to talking about phone chargers, school, the mall, and things of that nature. I don’t get it. Sure it was really really fun, but it didn’t clear up my confusion.

I’ve talked to a couple friends about my dilemma and they all make valid points. Such as if you didn’t want to figure things out, you would never have called me in the first place, or answered when I had to call you back. You wouldn’t have stayed on the phone talking about nothing instead of cleaning your room (btw that sounds like a dangerous job). Also, you wouldn’t have told me that you didn’t want to lose our friendship because you have fun talking to me. You wouldn’t just say that would you? I’m kinda scared to know the answer to that one.

I’ve thought about it a lot and for the life of me I can’t figure out why I don’t just let you go. You know, sever ties and be like its ok, I’m ok. I don’t know what weird tie I have to you, and you possibly have with me. For you it would be so easy to just totally disappear from my life, yet you don’t. Is it a sign? I have no idea. And if I do ever figure it out, I probably won’t tell you. Well I’d write it out on here, but I don’t think you read this. But then again, I could be totally wrong. If you do read this, I don’t know that would be a little weird. Yeah it’s on the internet but you of all people reading it seems almost stalkerish. Just kidding. It would be a coincidence. Then again, would you know that you are you? Haha talk about a confusing statement. I have never said your name, or mine, but I think I mentioned Ellie in the first post.

Ok well I just wanted to you let you know what’s up. You still owe me hanging out soon, but who knows when that will happen. With school ending things are getting really hectic. Who knows, maybe you’ll actually have to stay awake in some of your classes. Dang it seems I’ve been on a role with those joking insults since we talked on the phone. I hope you know they are jokes…. Other wise that would be bad.

Ok well I hope things are going well and that soon I’ll have a new story to update here.

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