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Not Shoplifting

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When I'm in a store, I can't help but notice how easy it is to grab things. I'll pick up a deck of cards with a picture of a smiling devil on them. When I lift them, it just comes right off the shelf. There was nothing keeping it there. And it's impossible not to be overcome with the sensation that it should be in my hand. After all, the deck was so close to the edge of the shelf. Really close. Like, crazy close. In fact the deck of cards could easily fall off the edge and get kicked under the shelf by a pair of scuffed up shoes and no one would know where they went. They'd just be gone but no one would worry about them because it's just a deck of cards.
And I never really see the point of leaving them there if that might happen. Because the cards are so cool. The devil doesn't even look like a devil really, just a dude with a pointy beard. So if the devil on them doesn't really look legit, it would matter even less if they were gone. That is, if they fell under the shelf or something. Except the cards are in my hand, not under the shelf. They’d probably fall off the shelf as soon as I put them back down. Then no one would get the cards.
And there are like, twelve other decks of smiling pseudo-devil cards. So I'm actually doing the store a favor, because without this deck there won't be thirteen of an item anymore. Holding the cards, that is. But if I put them back then once again there would be thirteen and having thirteen devil-like cards in your store just sucks.
Chances are also, that by the time they are ordering stock again, all thirteen won't be gone. Even if there’s just one left, then how pathetic would the store owner lady feel? She could sell tons of other stuff but this one deck of cards is still there. And it's like she failed at her job because they are still there and she couldn't sell just one more deck. In that moment it wouldn't have even mattered if she got the 2 dollars and 25 cents. The cards are still there and she would feel better if it was just gone.
Then I notice that the store is full of customers. Tons of people are buying stuff. One mom is buying a stuffed frog. A bratty looking little girl is buying Elmer’s Glue. This one guy who looks really uncomfortable is looking for earrings. Connor, from my gym class is here, but he hasn't seen me. And he's here buying a candy bar. So the only clerk here is really busy.
And the cards only cost 2.25$. And there are thirteen right now, and that's really bad luck. And the deck was really close to the edge of the shelf before. And they were so easy for me to pick up. And that lady who usually is behind the counter, she would feel better if she sold all of the stock. And the devil guy actually looks pretty cool even if he isn't totally legit.
And I really want to keep holding the deck. I really want to see what the royal cards look like and if they are devil-like too. I want to see how soon they will stop being stiff so I can shuffle them really easily. So I put them in my pocket and they fit in it perfectly.
Then I walk out of the store. While I’m walking, I’m not even nervous or anything like I am any old shoplifter. Shoplifting is taking something just because you want it. And what I’m doing is helping that entire store and everyone in it. So it’s not shoplifting. As long as I’m taking the cards out of the store for a good reason it doesn’t matter if I paid for them or not.
Besides, the guy on the back of them doesn’t look all that much like the devil.



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