Shades of Uncertainty

May 15, 2010
I miss you, I guess.

It's unexpected; I would never miss a knife in my side or a broken bone. So how are you any different? God knows you caused me just as much pain, if not more.

Sometimes I swear I see you walk past me, that same characteristic shuffle, that same terrible, amazing smile. I always turn and look. It's never really you.

Do you miss me? Probably not. I assume you've moved on, you've dropped me like unwanted baggage, I'm history. I wouldn't be surprised to see you with someone new, your hand at her waist, her head on your shoulder. I hope you've found someone, I really do. I would be so happy for you. So incredibly, horribly, painstakingly happy.

"I just liked it better when we were friends" is what you said, "I hope we can stay close." I've run these words over in my mind countless times. What exactly did you mean by "close"? If you wanted to be close, why did you break up with me in the first place?

It kills me that I acted like I agreed with what you said. I just nodded away like an easily-influenced idiot. Maybe I could have said something to stop you from pulling away completely. Maybe if you would have known, you would have stayed.

Or maybe not.

So all I can do is remember. You and your messy hair and beat-up sneakers, you and your laughing eyes. I'll probably keep the memories longer than you will, and I'm glad for that. We had fun together, you and I.

One day I'll wake up unable to recall the sound of your voice, not quite sure of the way your hand felt in mine. It will be a happy day, a sad day, a brilliant, awful, ordinary day. Maybe I won't even notice that you are fading.

That day will be a long time from the day you left me. But for the first time, you will truly be gone.

Join the Discussion

This article has 24 comments. Post your own now!

AvengedJasonFold said...
May 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm

simon feedback (you asked for it!)

Wow. Great voice. Great syntax, consistent. Realistic, simple... but I hated it.

Don't get me wrong, this is a masterpiece. It is incredibly realistic and beautifully written even though the narrator has to use simple words. Are these the emotions people go through at some point? Absolutely. You captured it perfectly, and it reminds me of a more mature, less accusatory version of what my ex girlfriend has been saying to me all week. That's the ... (more »)

--LoveHappens-- said...
May 26, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Wow great job I know a ton of people who can connect to this so good job on that. please read my piece called The Pretty One thanks so much
thepreechyteenager said...
May 26, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Aww :o

Sad.  And happy.  No, no happy- hopeful? Yeah, hopeful.  Nice work, I liked the second little sentace/paragraph thing the best.  Loved the carmarison to pain.  Hope that day isn't too far away.  *dry smile* :)

LiveFreeDieContent replied...
May 28, 2010 at 7:16 pm
i like it :)
Site Feedback