One decision

May 15, 2010
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I slowly close my eyes and feel the wind gently brush past my neck. With my hair tied up, I feel in control, things are sustained and I become the wind. I let my hair down and drop my hair tie. My loose cotton t-shirt stained with red flaps around my waist and my scars. It's the first time I feel safe. The breeze that blows through my body whispers that it's alright, it's okay. Just do it. I want to remember this last feeling of freedom before I go. No one is going to stop me.
Barefoot and cold, there is nothing better than this sensation right here, this sensation where now, I can feel--the leaves that brush against my feet or the dew from the balcony playing between my toes. This liberty is so much more than if I go back. My whole life, the pain,the hurt, the beatings and the abuse, leads up to this one moment of freedom and salvation. Salvation from the prison I've been in. This is the way it's supposed to end. Should I do it now? Jump or not? One decision...one decision can be the difference between life or death. I can feel my foot slide off the edge and I think that I might be able to fly...why not try? This--this is what I want. No one is going to miss me.





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