One Hi = One Heart Warmed

May 12, 2010
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Me, myself, and I are single as a pringle. Let’s face it: I have cerebral palsy. I’m not the prettiest girl in this world. And I sure am self-conscious about myself. That’s why I leave five minutes early from my classes- just so I won’t be noticed. But it’s hard not to, because people always wander around. The main thing I focus on is: How will people look at me? Will they stare at me like I’m an alien? Or will they smile slightly and keep walking? God only knows, and only I really know what they’ll do- Stare at me like an alien. I judge everything I do and say to try to seem normal. I try my hardest in my academics and succeed. I try to be the best person who I am, and I’m conflicting with my heart and mind.

Today, I walk from my Extended Algebra 1 class that I am starting to enjoy. Because I have cerebral palsy, I walk different from others. So, I, as a human, am different physicality and exterior wise. When I turned the corner of the hallway, I saw people. In my head all I thought was, ‘Oh dear God, please let this be Cory (a guy I know).’ Then, in the middle of the hallway with two options: 1. To walk down the stairs and run away from people. 2. Keep walking and act like nothing is wrong. (BIG LIE!)

I chose option two. I walked and noticed four people working on their tests in this narrow, silent hallway. Now, I clutched my books as I saw a guy, and took a glance. He had brown, shaggy hair, brown eyes, from what I saw- I think he was the guy who I talked to yesterday about the Chicago White Sox? My memory can be horrible. While I looked at him precisely working on the science test, he looked up. No, he didn’t stare like the girl a minute ago did, but he smiled. His smile was oh, so great that I took it in like never before. And you know what? He said hi with his male, bass, projected voice with an AMAZING smile! Before I knew it, I smiled- actually glowed, and started to feel timid, and stupid me- shyly said ‘Hi.’

Shyly?! I know… How dare me! I could’ve been stronger, and you know what? After he said hi… I walked down the hallway with a smile on my face, knowing that a good looking guy can make a girl with a physical disability have a positive day just saying hi, and make her feel normal.

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