September Changes

May 4, 2010
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I got up, and started walking, following the setting sun.
I walked and walked, didn’t matter where I was going as long as it was taking me far away. The reddish appearance of the sky lit up my hair, and would have lit up my face, if I had the courage to look up. My eyes followed my footsteps but my thoughts followed the events that had just occurred.

It was the first time I was back; my plane had just landed the night before. My heart was jumping and gasping to see you, and I set out early this morning to find you. There you were, on that same bench where we had first locked eyes. Under the flower tree where you would pick me flowers that I would keep until every petal fell off.

I came closer.
I couldn’t understand the look on your face.
I walked over, my smile breaking; I hope I did not look too anxious. I remember the days and nights we shared before I had to leave; the closeness we created.
One night, right before I left; as I was being held in your arms I asked you. “What will happen after the summer?”
And you answered with words that gave me confidence. “What are you talking about? It’s only two months. Nothing will change. I’ll be here, waiting.”

Those words rushed through my veins and my pumping heart. You stood up, and I walked closer.
The next part I do not quite understand.
All I heard was a mumbled “Sorry” and you went off/

Complete heart failure is the only way to put it. I grabbed my head and closed my eyes; trying to provide a gate from the tears.
But they came. And so did the pain.
I sat down on the bench that used to be yours and mine. It seemed unfamiliar. And that scared me. I sat there for hours. Thinking over and over what had gone wrong.

What did I expect? A warm hug back into your life? That is would just snap back as if nothing happened?

Yes. That’s exactly what I expected. That’s what you led me to believe.


So now as I’m walking, with the sky darker than it was before, I look up for the first time since I started walking. I find myself on a corner of a street; a street I once knew so well. Where I once felt so comfortable. A street where I would walk up, knock on the door, and see your face smiling back at me.

I wonder whether you found someone else to sit under the flower tree with.

By now, the stars were coming out. I stuffed my hands in the pockets as a gust of wind blew into my face.
September settled in, with everything different than it was before

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