Nothing You Can Do

May 1, 2010
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The first day of 9th grade. Most kids were shopping for back to school supplies, picking out their outfits, or gossiping about how Rachel Allen is starting the year with a hot junior boyfriend. But I wasn’t doing any of those things. I never did. I was standing in front of my full length mirror doing my “exercises.” They were important. For an hour each day I stood in front of the mirror criticizing how I looked. For motivation, of course. It was very important, unless I wanted to be fat!
I checked my phone. A new text message. "Great." I muttered to myself halfheartedly, "Another distraction."
It was from my sort-of-but-more-like-former best friend. She wanted me to go shopping. “Can’t” I typed, “Running errands for my mom, then going to some dinner end of summer thing. Sorry :(” Okay, so it wasn’t true. But it was for my own good. I could go shopping when I was thin.
It was burning hot but I went running anyway. I ran until my legs couldn’t hold me anymore. Then I felt into the grass and puked until I was empty. Then I jogged home. I was so used to it now, it was a routine, and my body already knew what was coming.
At dinner, my mom looked worried. “Honey, didn’t you listen to the therapist and doctor. You have to eat all your dinner.” She looked truly concerned, and even a little angry. For a second I felt a wave of guilt, but as passed like always.
“I can do what I want, and you can’t force me. There’s nothing you can do about it.” I smiled smugly, but inside I was dying. I put my played with food in the sink and sauntered to my room.
All of 9th grade would be this day over and over again. Lying, distancing myself, telling people they couldn’t force me, there was nothing they could do about it. Eventually all my friends would fade away, but I told myself it was for the best. Less distractions. When I was thin I could have all the fun I wanted.
But I didn’t know that I’d never have that fun. That I’d eventually starve myself to death. And I was right. There was nothing anyone could do about it.

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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

CheshireCat said...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 6:05 pm
so is the gurl anorexic cuz that is wat i was getting out of it. I thought it was good no not good AMAZING plz check out some of my work i would luv to see wat u have to say about them
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm
This was so AMAZING! It really captured the view point of a bulimic person.  Very well-written and interesting.  Fabulous job.
DanceAway This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 7:56 pm
haha i knoww all the named i think of are cheesy as hell so i always use ems names. hah. 
someoneee said...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 7:55 pm
rachel allen? heheheheh xD and no im not a stalker i go to EMS
DanceAway This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 7:58 pm
im really bad at thinking of names so i always do that. :) 
WiseGirl said...
May 23, 2010 at 4:12 pm
This was a really good story! Keep writing!
SmileyFace94 said...
May 22, 2010 at 8:11 pm
wow, this felt so real! i really like the way you wrote that. great job :)
Kasumi said...
May 22, 2010 at 11:35 am
Aww, its a few sad story but I really like it! 
IvyVine said...
May 21, 2010 at 2:29 pm
it seemed so real!
The Summoning Freak said...
May 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm
i love this it pulled me in, you have to write a second part to this
The Summoning Freak said...
May 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm
it was soo good i love it you have talent
JacobC said...
May 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Good story.
LillyK said...
May 19, 2010 at 3:23 pm
That is Amazing! It sounds like it's going to be great.
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