The Truth Hurts

April 24, 2010
By , New York, NY
Estelle was lonely. She had been lonely her entire life, with a mother who abandoned her for coke and no father in sight. To some, this lifestyle might have been liberating, but to Estelle it was devastating. At seventeen, she thought, a girl needs their mom the most for support, whether they realize or not. Kaia, Estelle’s mom, could have cared less what support her daughter so desperately yet secretly craved.
Estelle was an actress, she wanted to be a star, Broadway or Hollywood, it didn’t matter, she lived to act. Kaia never came to any of Estelle’s shows, no matter how many times Estelle left notes for her, voicemails, texts, anything she could do. But no, Kaia was either too doped up on cocaine or sleeping with some guy for money. Money that Estelle never touched, never dreamed of placing her dainty fingers on. No, she couldn’t, Kaia would have killed her first. It was Kaia’s money to do with as Kaia pleased, not Estelle’s money. Estelle ate the free lunches at school and wore clothes that were too small most of the time. That is, when she wasn’t working. But working at the local bookstore was barely enough, especially when she had to go to school five days a week, maintain good grades so she could get a scholarship and act in the shows. Rivercrest High was putting on My Fair Lady as their winter musical and Estelle was Eliza Doolittle, a part she had always dreamed of. She wished her mother would come but knew it would never happen. Kaia was just too f**king selfish for her own good. There, it was out: the truth about Estelle’s feelings towards Kaia. She hated her, resented not having a parent in her life. As freeing as it was to have no rules, Estelle often found herself missing the structure. Staying out until 3am is what teenagers do, but most of them didn’t have to worry about taking public transportation back to the toughest part of Atlanta. Nobody knew where Estelle and Kaia lived. Estelle never had friends over, embarrassed that Kaia would be stoned or in the middle of one of her sexcapades. Besides, as neat as she tried to keep the apartment, it was a mess. Estelle was ashamed of her life, everything in it except for who she was at school and on stage.
Estelle stood staring into the mirror on a brisk Monday morning. Things had been hard recently, really hard. Kaia was home more, trying to be a parent for once and it just ticked her off to no end that for once her mother was trying. She must have a new boyfriend or something, Estelle thought, feeling lost as she continued to stare in the mirror. Normalcy was so unusual of Kaia that her daughter had learned to abandon any hope of that returning to their lives. Which is why Kaia’s behavior seemed so strange. She would be home when Estelle got home instead of five in the morning. She didn’t necessarily talk to her daughter but she was there, physically. Estelle needed Kaia there emotionally. Fully with the picture, ready to be an active part of her daughter’s life. It wouldn’t happen Estelle thought, never in my wildest dreams. But those dreams were about to become a new reality.

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