Love Does Cost Something

April 14, 2010
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"Where’s my money WOMAN?” Lamar punching, Alaniie across the room.
She lies there not even in complete shock because she knew what was coming. Even before it happened because she knew if she didn’t have his money when she came home then it will be a problem. She gets on her knees with her mouth dripping of blood. She crawls to him and beg him to stop as she always does. He hits her one more time makes her stand and then tells her to go get ready while he cleans up the mess she made with her blood.

She says "Okay!" in a whimper. She goes into the bathroom to see the bruises that are now on her what use to be perfectly clean honey toned body. She looks at them and let a few tears fall. She couldn’t believe that just 8 months ago she was voted the smartest girl in her class. She says to herself "How can this be true; look at this mess I got myself into. All for a boy" She then begins to clean herself up like he said.

She takes a shower, washes her long black hair. She gets out then dries off. She begins to get ready for one of her long hard days as a sales woman. She thought to herself as she laughs it off. She blow dries her hair paint her toes and nails lotions her body up later she does her hair right after she puts on her expensive clothing such as; Victoria Secret Bra and panties set with pair of Ed Hardy white socks, a Coogi outfit, the Coogi sneakers, The Gucci pocket book and last but not least the Gucci Shades to top it off. She would leave but she has a lifestyle to maintain. She also has a child to take care of. He is two and she thinks the world of him.

She gets into the car and goes to her sorrowful job. She use to be happy to always work and get paid but now all she wants to do is quit. He drops her off at what they call a site, and drives off. She is dressed to impress and is smelling good. She thought to herself she had to put on a happy face to make her clients unaware of her drama. When she gets there she already has 3 clients waiting for her. She addresses each one to tell them they will have to wait if they don't mind. They all agree she heads to the back room changes her clothes and she was ready to get to work.

After those three were all taken care of, she heard an argument in the distance.

“Yo get back, I told you that is was my spot, I was supposed to be next.” A tall handsome angry man yelled.

“If you get in my face again I promise that I will make you regret it.” The other rough looking man said.


Everybody jumped in the argument to defend each of the men. People were screaming and yelling. She handled everything and went on about her jolly way. After a long hard day she went home to her boyfriend of 2 years Lamar. He asks her for his cut and she unwillingly gives it to him. He is pleased and tells her that, that is how is money is suppose to come out. She goes to the bathroom and scrub, without a word.

She sits in the tub and think of how things use to be before he changed her. She thought of how she uses to be in class thinking of him. When he would text her telling her how she was the most beautifulness girl he ever seen. She was hooked since the day he knocked her school lunch into her chest accidentally. I still remember the day he dropped out; maybe if he stayed in school maybe he wouldn’t be so cold and lost. He claimed he was emancipated he could do whatever he wanted. I still remember the fight we had over it.

“Listen you should stay in school!!!” Alaniie said
“Just shut up, you don’t know me like that.” Lamar replied coldly
“I know you well enough to say that you have a lot more potential than what you think you do.” She said
“Thanks for your concern but then again no thank you” he said sadly
She chuckled at the thought. She was still in the tub remembering the time when he would get her out of class just so he can be with her. She thought it was so romantic. But in all actuality it was so he can dumb her down so she will always be stuck asking someone for something.

She thought about how she loved the way he uses to look at her like she was the only one around. She loved the way he uses to hold her like he never wanted to let her go. She felt the back of her neck tingle just thinking about it. As she lay in the tub even the Dove soap on the ledge, and the smell of strawberries and cream candles burning couldn’t keep her from getting a little weepy. She was in the tub for an hour trying to find out what happened and why did it happening and what she could do to change it for the better.

"Alaniie!!!" next thing she knew she was on the cold bathroom floor with him still yelling above her carrying on “I know you heard me call your name the first three hundred times."
He hit the door. She jumped, shaking in fear, she whimpers she began to scream "I didn't hear because if I did I would have came...ST--"

Love Does Cost Something
"Who, you think you talking to?" He raised his hand but continued talking, "I will break ya face if you get up and talk to me like that again. He said growing angrier more and more each second.
"If you hit me I will call 911" she said

He, annoyed with her and her comment said "Yeah right!!! You’re bluffing" he smirked.

She looked at him in a way she always wanted to and screamed "Do it and see if you don't sleep in a cell tonight...Now try me." She said grabbed her telephone off the counter. He swing she flew up. She grabbed the phone and begins to dial. He dropped and begs and pleads but she is very serious. She dialed. She spoke, and said "Hello can I file a report of abuse he--" Lamar unplugs the phone grabs her by her throat and he choked her until he thought was enough.


The next day she woke in a hospital bed. At first she panicked but calmed down when she saw her mom, who she hadn’t seen since she ran away 2 years ago, to be with her "Lover Lamar". There was a lady in a blue and white pin-striped pants suit to the right of her. Then she looked to her left and saw what looked like a lady cop in navy blue. Her first thought was where was her baby at. She spoke and said "Has anyone seen my baby boy Trevor. Please tell me he is all right?" She said in a raspy low tone.

They all looked at each other. Her mom finally spoke and said "Honey, Trevor is in the ICU. After Lamar choked you out, he went and beat Trevor half to death."

Alaniie was completely shocked and hurt. She cried and she asked “Where is that b****** at? I want him arrested better yet dead!" They looked at her puzzled by her question.

The strange woman in the blue suit said "It’s funny you ask that. Lamar committed suicide less than 3 hours ago. That's why I’m here to help your family get counseling. My name is Amy Walker nice to meet you Ms. Johnson." Trying to lightening the mood with a smile, she extended her hand.

Alaniie still looking hurt and confused

Alaniie pointed and shook her hand. "Wait then if you are a family consular then who are you?"

"My name is Michelle Carter. I am with child services and I am just here to ask some questions about your son and ex-lover."

Alaniie began to cry and finally spoke after 5 minutes saying "I will not let you take my son away from me. He is all I have. I live for that little boy...You will not take what is left of my family."

Then Michelle steps closer and says “I am not trying to tear your family apart but his family, I mean Lamar’s family is trying to take him from you.”
Alaniie sighs looking more confused than ever.
“Wait did you even know about all of this? Or is this your first time waking up since the incident?” Michelle questioned.

“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Wait a minute. What family? Lamar is an orphan.” Alaniie explained.

“What? No he is not; he has a large family up in Brooklyn, New York.” Her mother chimed in and explained.

“What, this can’t be. Oh My God, I can’t believe the last 2 years of my life with him was a lie.” She sobs.

Her mother consoled her. Michelle & Amy decided to give them some alone time.


The next day around 11 a.m. Alaniie woke up and is able to move around. First thing she does is eat, then wash up, after that goes to the Café to get a coffee. She sat there drinking and thinking about everything that happened to her. On her way out she noticed woman who was watching her since she sat down and started to drink her coffee. Alaniie was shaken up by the woman’s actions. She left and returned back to her room. She was making the bed when she heard a sudden knock.

“Come In.” she replied, with no hesitation.
She hears footsteps, as they grew closer they stopped. Alaniie looked up to see the woman that was watching her in the cafe. They stare at each other for a moment.

“Who are you? Why were you staring at me in the cafe? Why did you come to my room?”

“I am Lamar’s mother Za’ Nell, I was staring at you, because I was just trying to see and imagine what my grandson looked like, You see, my son never told me he even had a family—.”

“What? Family is an understatement we were a family in hell with gasoline underwear on.”

“Wait, I know you are pissed at what my son put you and your son through but his father was the same way. I am just here to lend you a hand. I didn’t come here to do anyone any harm. I just want to make things the way they should have been.” She extended her arms out.
Alaniie looked not sure what to do so they just hugged, for about 10 minutes and sobbed to each other.

The next day Alaniie packed her things and left. She got welcomed home by her family, who threw her a party. She was not really feeling it. So she went upstairs and slept through the night. The next day she saw her mom had stayed the night in her guest bedroom, Alaniie went downstairs to clean up. When she realized that her answering machine was beeping with 10 unheard messages. She dropped the broom sat on the couch still a little drowsy with her head bowed listening to the messages. The first 8 were bill collectors and advertisement agencies.
She pressed the next button to hear the ninth message. She just started to dose off until she heard the voice of Lamar on the machine.

She shot up.

“Hey baby girl, I know you don’t want to hear from me, but I just wanted to let you know that, I want you to have the best life as possible. I am sorry for ruining your life the way I did. If you didn’t know I have a family in Brooklyn, New York. I apologize for what I did to you and my baby boy……..he started to cry “Baby, I never meant to hurt you the way I did …I really love you. All I have to say is bye my real love I know I did my dirt but you always been first in my heart and mind.”
Gun shots go off.

She jumped and screeched at the creepy sound of his voice and the way he talked. She was frantic by the message. She ran upstairs to tell her mother of the frightening message. She was in shock and called the detective. She told her the horrible news. They gave the detective the tape.

She never heard the final message for her doctor.

A few years later after getting off of work as a top lawyer at her firm she felt a little weak, but she ignored it and kept on driving. As she unlocked the door she felt faint again and passed out.

She woke up in the hospital bed. The oncologist walked in, set her clipboard down and shook her head in disbelief.


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