Living in the dark

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Of what I remember the world is like a beach ball. Every way you spin it a different color is revealed. I remember the blues. The blues illuminated in the deep, strong ocean. The blues that relaxed hospital walls, an ever going promise that you were going to be “ Okay”. The blues that shined a million different shades in the sky, those were the blues I loved the most. I also remember the purples. Barney the purple dinosaur, purple dragons, purple wizard hats. Purple will, and always has been majestic, and magical. I remember the yellows. The yellow of the sun. Blinding and shimmering. The way it bronzed your skin, and lit your world even when your eyes were shut. The yellow post it notes, high lighters, and magic markers, always used for reminders, special things to remember, and the most beautiful of child hood creations.

When I think of the universe I think of people. When I think of people I think of faces. Brown faces, white faces, black faces, and ever shade in between. I think of noses, and mouths, ears, and eyes. Oh how I loved eyes. The most enduring, “ Tell All” physical characteristic on a human beings face. A peek hole into the soul, and a telescope for the surrounding world. Eyes come in colors. Every color. Every shape. Every size. They are brilliant, so very brilliant. How I always, always loved eyes.

The last day I remember seeing blue, purple, and yellow was march 13th, 2007. That was the last day I saw faces, skin, and eyes. That was the last day I looked at my mother, my father, and was the last day I saw my self. That day I laid on a blanket outside and I looked at clouds. I still remember every single one of them.

Today I see black. Black, black, and black. I see blank faces, dark skies, and meaningless rooms, halls, buildings and streets. I see a beach ball that does not have different colors, the more you spin it. The more it stays the same. Why, you may ask? Because on march 13th 2007 I was hit while crossing the street by a drunk driver. It was late, a dark night. Ever since then, all I have ever seen, and all I ever will see, is black.





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