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It’s Friday and I’m not ready for this weekend. Jessica has been keeping something from me and I want to find out what it is. I know it’s probably nothing but my mind goes to the worst. What if she’s cheating on me? What if she doesn’t want to be with me anymore? I can say what if all day but eventually I’m going to have to find out what is wrong or it’s going to keep bugging me. Tick tick tick, I wish I could freeze time and go back to when me and jess never fought. It’s been about a month scenes we have really had a good time together and I want that life back. I want to be able to just sit down and talk with her without getting aggravated. Ring! I drag my feet as everyone else rushes out the door ready to get to their car. I’m so not ready to see her yet. I step out the door and take slow steps down the stairs to the parking lot. It seemed like I was running to my truck. Everything that day went by fast.
“Hey Carson, are you ready?” she said the words as there was no feeling in them. She had been cold towards me all week. I feel sad and depressed every time we talk now.
“Yeah I guess so” I keep feeling like we just go through the motions. There is no emotion in our relationship now and I keep asking myself if this relationship is worth all this trouble.
The ten minute drive to my house is silent. It feels like it takes forever when I do things with her. It feels like ten hours instead of ten minutes on the way to my house. It was silent the whole time. I open the door of the truck for her to get out and I take her bag just like I do every day. I step through the big double doors of the front of my house first and close the door behind her. We go and sit on the couch in silence.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asked as she started to get up but I stopped her with my hand.
“We need to talk Jess. Why have you been acting like this? What have you been keeping from me?” I felt like I needed to shout, cry or do something. We sat on the couch for a few minutes while I was waiting on her to answer my questions.
“Yes I agree we need to talk. Well I know things have been off beat lately and I’m sorry for that but I just need time to think about things.” She drew her words out as she was trying to stall to tell me the truth and tell me what was really bothering her.
“Think about what? What do u have to think about?” she was scaring me and making me worry I kept telling myself that this was probably nothing but as she said the words my mind went back to the worst.
“Well I took a test Sunday night and it turns out that I’m pregnant.” She sounded like she was about to through up on my dad’s brand new rug.
“What? I mean how, when, why, what?” I just spit out words, I knew how and I knew it was with me I knew the exact weekend it happened. I was trying to rap my mind around the thought of having a baby. I could hear my heart beet and I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest.
“Could you say something else please?” She was still shaking scared of how I would react but she knew me. She knew I wouldn’t run.
“Ok, let’s tell my dad first, he should be here any second.” I couldn’t say anything else. New ideas were rolling threw my head. As these ideas were growing in my head I could hear the squeak of the front door. The big footsteps was echoing down the hall and getting closer by the second.
“Hey dad come in here me and Jessica have to talk to you.” I’m sure I sounded like I wanted to throw up and run out of the house screaming. I could hear the rattle of his briefcase as he stomped into the living room.
“What is it Carson I have a lot of work to do tonight.” He sounded irritated when it took me a little longer then he wanted to explain what had happened.
“Dad well I just found out that uh well Jessica is pregnant.” I finally just said the words that way I could get it over with. I could tell that he was surprised to find out that Jessica was pregnant and that we were going to have a baby. He got up in silence and went to the study and sat down in his chair. I heard the squeak of his chair just as I have a million times before. When he was in his office and not doing any work you knew he was stressed and this time I knew I had caused it.