Still Alive

February 19, 2010
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The crowd is laid out before me, and I’m about to commit suicide. Well, not actual suicide, but i might as well be.

“Mia.” The organizer prompts, and I force a brave smile. I step forward slightly, and the crowd pauses, acutely aware of my every move.

I open my mouth, and I hear the first tiny sound of a laugh. I start to sing, a song about truth and honesty- exactly how I feel, but no names. Nobody likes name.

My fingers strum easily on the guitar, their movements so automatic I have forgotten they are there.

I sing and I sing. The crowd is silent, waiting for someone, anyone, to make the ultimate verdict.

A cheer breaks out somewhere in the front row, and the crowd, relieved, lets it ripple through them. I allow myself to relax. I’m still alive.

The organizer gives me a thumbs up from behind the curtain, and I let out a grin.

I’m still alive.

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