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Accepting The Unwanted

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he cries. She lies on the floor and sobs, grabbing her sides and gasping for air. She cries for her mother, for her father. She cries for her siblings. But mostly, she cries for herself, for the life she knows she will never have. And, over the years, she's realized that her father will never be sober, her mother never without bruises on her body. Her family never with more than one dollar in their pockets. Her sister never with a supportive man. It was just the way things were, and Kara realized that. But even if you realize something, you may never be ok with it.

It was midnight on a Friday when it happened. Changed Kara forever. She heard it from her window, the sound of death. She heard her mother's stifled screams, then, complete chaos. Sirens blaring, people screaming each others names. Kara only heard one thing, a faint whisper from below. "He's dead." She did not cry, she did not scream. She crawled to the window and peered out into the expansive night sky, the city lights the only stars shining. She saw it, a murder scene on the sidewalk. Women holding children, men holding women. The face, covered in blood, laid lifeless on the ground. The face of her brother.

The chaos slowly faded off into the distance and by five in the morning it was silent again. Kara locked herself in her family's only bathroom and cried. She cried until she started turning blue from hyperventilating. She picked herself up, dried her tears, fixed her t-shirt and went outside. She walked down 8th street, turned onto Walnut, then up Broad. She walked this coarse a few times, trying to make sense of everything. "He did drugs, but didn't everyone?" She thought. She walked up Broad once again and sat on her front step. Jimmy came over and sat next to her, his eyes red with sorrow. "I...I'm sorry Kara," He finally said after a minute of silence.
"It's not like you shot him," Kara replied coldly, still staring straight ahead.
Jimmy looked at her then responded: "That's the thing..."
Her eyes widened and she turned to face him. "Jimmy, how could you shoot your best friend?!" Her voice cracked on the last word.
"I didn't shoot him, honest," He replied defensively.
"Then what?!" Kara said.
"If I hadn't gotten him into drugs he'd still be alive," Jimmy's eyes welled up with tears and anger. She hugged him.
"He would have been dead anyway," She said as she walked into the house and shut the screen door.





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Changer said...
Mar. 9, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Amazing :D
 
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