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I Know About the Pain, Love

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He used to have long, wavy black hair, but he cut it all off. I think it looks better this way. He wears several rings and a necklace with a little bell. It means something to him, but I won’t tell. That meaning belongs to him. It’s not my place to give it away.

I believe his hands and arms are his defining points. They are permanently marred by cuts, burns, and scars. They stand for his reckless attitude, his all-fun-and-games-until-someone-gets-hurt-and-it’s-usually-me mindset, and of course, his pain. His emotional anguish, his torture, his suffering. We are alone together.

But we are not alone.

And we are not together.

To me, our relationship goes so far beyond the depths of traditional high school relationships. Those are puddles created by a lovely spring rain next to the terrifying, deep, dark trench that is our friendship. It is based on a love so strong that it defies words and breaks down the barriers of what teenagers should be capable of feeling. It is based on his need to protect my childlike innocence. He lost his so unfairly. It is based on my attempts to comfort him, my attempts to shield him from The Pain. It would be an insult to our closeness to “go out.” Plus, who would accept the good girl and the bad guy?
But I love him. I want him in every way.

Shh. That part’s a secret.

I look closely at him. He’s smiling, but it isn’t real. A genuine smile would light up those beautiful eyes. This one doesn’t quite reach, though it would fool someone who didn’t know about The Pain. There are people out there who feel close to him, who may never understand who he really is. He could do that, if he wanted to. Hiding is a strength of his.

Hide from your fears.

Hide the cuts.

The Pain won’t find you this way. I’m sure of it, love.

Oh, his hands. I hold them, feel him shiver. It’s not cold in here, he must be scared. I trace his scars, my fingertips barely grazing his skin.

I’m at a loss.

What do I do to heal The Pain love? I can’t fix you, but maybe we can find the tools you need to fix yourself. We’ll heal your heart together.
The tremors rocking his tall, thin frame are beginning to slow. I’m not here to hurt you, honey. His whole body is slowly beginning to relax. His breathing steadies, his muscles loosenup, and soon he is completely at ease with me. I grasp the necklace he gave me, a silver chain with a single charm, a yin yang symbol. "It fits us perfectly," he told me. I look up, and unintentionally meet his gaze.

Suddenly

Our lips are touching.

It’s an amazing sensation. It’s full of all the things that we wanted to say that couldn’t be spoken aloud. It’s full of genuine passion and love and safety and just feels absolutely right.

You’re right for me.

We are not alone, but we are together. And that is how we’ll get through it all.

It’ll be ok.




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This article has 30 comments. Post your own!

AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm:

Oh. My. Goodness.

 

Imagine the most exhilarating feeling you can think of.  That's what I felt when I read this.  My heart is literally POUNDING.  You. Are. AMAZING.  I realize I'm supposed to be giving critique and not gushing complements, so here it is.  It's very serious.

You are too freaking good.

 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 3, 2011 at 9:16 am :
haha I'm glad! Keep writing!
 
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EmilyGram said...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 12:57 am:

I loved this!!  Romance is hard to write, but I'm so impressed by this piece!  Their complex relationship, their contrasting pasts, their expectations are so interesting!  You pulled me in and had me glued to the screen.  Great job!  Five stars!

Could you please comment on my sci-fi novel White Ribbon?  I love your writing style and your character development and I would definitely appreciate your criticism and feedback.

 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 5:25 pm :
aaah thank you thank you thank youu<33 ill look at it as soon as i get a chancee im sure its amazing :)
 
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charmiypiggy said...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 11:25 pm:
Like all your other pieces, the pacing, flow and descriptions just elevated the mood of the story. Again, the short sentences and spaces really help in conveying the emotion. I do agree that capitalising The Pain doesn't really sound right. In fact, it makes it sounds almost tacky. Also, the way your character keeps referring to the guy as 'love' and 'honey' makes her sound... weird. I don't know. The only people I know who use those terms of endearment are like, older-ish women. Which kind of d... (more »)
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm :
i do agree about the capitalizing thing. but about the "love" and "honey" thing, I say it all the time in person too. And I know a lot of other people that do as well. Maybe thats just around here or something, I'm not really sure.
 
charmiypiggy replied...
Mar. 5, 2011 at 6:05 pm :
Yeah, probably. I very rarely hear people saying them around here
 
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BrielleM said...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:05 pm:

...I loved it!!! Well, mostly.

I think the whole capitalizing of "The Pain" is sort of...weird. It seems misplaced. I think the piece would be much better without it, but don't go changing things that you like because of one person (:

I like the spacing of it...It gives some parts more emphasis and helps the reader understand some of the emotion behing the words...

I liked it! Keep writing!

 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 6:29 pm :
I totally get what you mean. I was just trying to give it a darker, more creepy sort of feel. But thanks for the honesty, and I'm glad you liked it :)
 
Alia_TanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm :
I liked how you knidof continued the story :) You should write more about this because its a pretty good story. I liked how you used the words honey and love becuase its rare to here that in stories nowadays, and to me adds character! great job! :D :D :D
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm :
you know i really didnt think much about adding the terms of endearment in there. its just came naturally lol i didnt expect it to be so foreign to everyone elsee
 
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