Salty and Sweet | Teen Ink

Salty and Sweet

February 19, 2010
By MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

You’ve always been curious why I eat chips when I’m sad.
“It’s comfort food,” I said.
“But why chips? Why not chocolate?”
You pressed.

“Because it’s salty and sweet.
Salty for the past,
the tears that come from the bad that has already happened.
Sweet for the future,
the smiles that come from the hope of the good to come.”


The author's comments:
I decided to try and write one of those mini-short stories (they average about 50 words). It came out like more of a poem; but I decided to enter it under Fiction anyways.

Hope you like it!

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This article has 14 comments.


on Sep. 23 2010 at 9:44 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

I spaced it like that after I realized that it was like a poem...I thought that if it was already so close I'd just go all the way. I think if I were to submit it to a magazine or something that was only fiction I would go back to the original spacing. 

Thanks!


AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 23 2010 at 8:55 am
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

The good:  I liked this - it was fun in that you could see where the character was coming from, commiserate, and marvel at the chip logic, all in about ten seconds.  Great job!

The bad: To make it more like fiction and less like a poem, you could make the part where she said why she liked chips all one paragraph, instead of spacing it like that.  But that's just if you want to - I don't think it needs to be changed. :)

The random: Good job!


readaholic said...
on Sep. 15 2010 at 6:51 pm
I bet you'd feel even more special if it was on the front page :) "Teen Ink-This Month's top story-the story without an appropriate genre!"  You'd be FAMOUS!

on Sep. 15 2010 at 3:23 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
Haha I'd feel really special if they did that XD

on Sep. 14 2010 at 6:09 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 426 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Maybe they'll make a poeyrt/fiction page right inbetween the two!!

on Sep. 14 2010 at 7:32 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

First: Thank, again!!!

And second...I have no idea. Probably fiction, because that's what I submitted it under but I really don't know. 


on Sep. 12 2010 at 10:49 am
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 426 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

You're welcome...

If this gets published (which it should) do you think they would put it under poetry or fiction?


on Sep. 11 2010 at 12:30 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
Thanks!!! 

on Sep. 11 2010 at 10:23 am
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 426 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Cool poem :) You write good stuff

on Jul. 9 2010 at 3:35 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and that the message came across! And I think I will try and write a full length story from those paragraphs...it's a good idea :)

deka9 said...
on Jul. 9 2010 at 2:13 pm

Okay, I won't count this as the fiction I'm suppose to give a feedback to because it is like a poem just like you said, hahaha. I couldn't resist after clicking on the name and see the length. I had to read it, hahaha.

So so short yet so sweet! Hahaha, I love how profound this is. You were able to capture such emotions. And you were able to give me a new perspective on chips in two short paragraphs!! Hahaha, that is insane :p

I highly recommend you to write a real fiction feature on these two paragraphs! Honestly, I could already see the story flowing through my head, hahaha. Don't worry I won't steal you work :)

If you haven't already sense my tone, I love this :D


on Jun. 29 2010 at 2:57 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
Thank you so much!

on Jun. 28 2010 at 8:52 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

This is really good! It is so short yet has such depth. You really chose the right words. You were able to capture so many feelings into a small paragraph. That is the best way to write. Great Job!!! :)

orish said...
on Mar. 21 2010 at 9:15 am
I like it!!


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