Her eyes dry from the tears. She had cried so many nights before; it had always made her feel better. However tonight, it would not be the case. Her eyes could no longer cry for him; she could no longer hide it with tears. Face down in her pillow; she tried willing the tears to come, to wash her away from the pain. They did not come. Her head lifted slowly as she put one last effort into a tear. Fingers pinched the little skin on her arm. The physical pain did not cause tears, all she felt was …. Well she couldn’t even feel. She was numb. Thoughts ran through her mind, his face, his hand, his lips against hers, she thought of everything that had brought her sadness before…. But there was nothing. She longed to feel, even if it was only pain. The numbness was driving her crazy. She stood up and examined her appearance. She looked like herself but she didn’t feel like herself. It was a confusing reality; it was as if her eyes were playing a trick on her. A high pitch tune filled the room, and a buzzing of a phone on the shelf. She picked it up, took one look at the caller id, but instead of answering her best friends call, she threw the phone on her bed. She knew her friend would pick up on the numbness, and she didn’t want her to worry. The phone stopped ringing, and the room was silent again. She fell to her bed. Acting as nothing more than to escape from feeling nothing, she was a shell. Her physical self listened to her mental plea, and she soon was fast asleep. Watching over her, the angel watches.
A Tearless Memory
February 18, 2010