“You want one?” The hardest question of my life. There I was staring at the little stick that would ruin my life. But I didn’t know that back then. I didn’t know that because of that one little stick, I would lose everything. So what was the answer? “Yeah, I’ll try one.”

A week after that, I knew I wanted more. I needed more, I would die without another one. I had to get another one from someone, somewhere, but how? How was I ever going to get one. My foster parents don’t smoke at all. Oh. I didn’t tell you the story about my parents.

When I was a little girl, my father got drunk. My mother went to get him at the bar. But my dad was so drunk, he thought he owned the bar and that my mother was robbing him. He pulled out a gun and shot her. Then, he drove home. But on his way, he got pulled over by the cops. One for drunk driving, two for speeding, and three for killing his wife.

So I got put in an orphanage. And about 3 years later, when I was 5, there were two people who came to meet with me. After the meeting, they told Sister Mary that I was the one for them.
“Nice choice, Kaitlyn is very well behaved and loving.”
“We know”

So now I live with Ashlee and Robert Smith. The only parents that I feel really cared about me. They are very nice, kind of strict, they don’t smoke, they both finished 8 years of college, and are now lawyers. And they picked the perfect place to do that too. Hollywood, California. Which is unfortunately also the perfect place to get drugs.

All of my friends smoke pot. I haven’t tried it yet. And I’m not sure if I should yet. But I might. But right now I just want cigarets. In fact I want one right now.
“Hey Jenny, hook me up.”
“Pot, crack, beer, or just a cigarette?”
“I’ll just have a cigaret”
“Easy enough.”
I wanted to say pot so bad. But I knew I couldn’t go through with it. She handed me the cigarette.
“Thanks Jenny.”
“No problem.”

So I went in back of the school and started smoking. It felt like it had been a million years since my last one. Even though it had only been a day. But it felt amazing. The warm smoke making it’s way down my throat. So slow I could always tell where it was. I could feel it travel from my mouth, down my throat, and swirl slowly around the inside of my lungs.

After my cigarette, I went into the bathroom and tried to get the smell of smoke off of my clothes. Then, I got worried. The smell wasn’t coming off. I looked over in the corner on the counter and saw air freshener. I was desperate at this point. I rubbed it all over myself. It was a little better. Not much, but enough to pass through Ashlee.

So when I came home, I saw Robert and Ashlee waiting for me. They were sitting in the living room on our beige leather couch. I didn’t know what I did, but I could tell they were mad. Then, Ashlee started to speak.

“We got a call from your school today.”
“What did I do?”
My first thought was that somebody caught me smoking and told the principal.
“Would you like to explain your failing grades to me?”

I was relieved that it wasn’t about me smoking. But I knew how much trouble I’d be in with my grades. They expected A’s and B’s from me. And with failing grades, I thought they would kill me. But I was surprised by what happened next.

“I’m disappointed in you.”

And that was it. After that, she just got up and walked away. Robert just shook his head disappointedly and then he got up and walked away too.
I kind of felt bad that I didn’t even care about that at all. And that I just wanted another cigarette.

At about 6:00, Robert and Ashlee both came in and sat on my bed. Robert started to speak.
“You thought you’d get off the hook that easily.”
“No, not really.”
“Well, your grounded.”
“Thought I would be.”
“But this time it’s going to be a little more harsh.”
“How so?”?“No phone, no computer, no cell phone, no TV, and your breaking up with your boyfriend.”
“WHAT!!!???”?“And I’m going to be right there when you do it too.”
“Wow, fine, whatever!”
“Get on the phone and do it”
“Fine, later.”?“No, now!”?So that night, I had to break up with my boyfriend. Probably the nicest guy I would ever meet. I cried all that night. I hated my life.

End of part one.