January 31, 2010
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The first thing I know is that it's dark. I am enclosed in a velvet coffin, with an IV in my arm and a breathing tube attached to my nose.
I am unaware of the fact that there is a video camera recording everything that I do. I try to move, but I don't make much distance. I can stretch my arms out, only to slam them into the edge of the coffin. My feet are cramping up.
I am tired and I want to stay in my own bed, yet I know how likely that is. Sure, that's as likely as the sky turning pink. I don't know what time it is- should I be waking up for school, or going to bed?
I think about my friends- I hope they know I'm gone, but I suppose the true test of friendship comes when I find out who really is worrying about me.
I scream and I bang on the coffin until my throat is numb and my hands are bleeding. "Please, let me out! Make it stop! Why are you doing this to me?!" My pleas are heard only by the trees and the woods.
Have you ever wondered what it is like to be trapped, to feel enclosed with nowhere to go? Have you ever had a nightmare about being buried alive?
It is nothing compared to what is actually is.

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This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

YoMama said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Cheese Grater !
doglover said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 2:19 pm
this was very good and i would love to read the original!!!!!!!!
JohnWall_for_MVP said...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm
whoa, that was kind of creepy, oh my goodness, those few words were very breath taking, I cn't wait to read the original.
love2love17 replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Thank you so much! Unfortunately, I never got the original back.... :( Oh well. Can't have 2 of the same kind! Would've been nice though.
AgnotTheOdd said...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Interesting, albeit hasty and whatnot.  A little creepy to boot.  I'd suggest expanding upon this.

Comment on any of mine?

love2love17 replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 3:52 pm
Yes I certainly will! By expand upon it, what do you mean? Trust me, it's not based on a personal experience lol.
AgnotTheOdd replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm
well, it seems like there is a lot cluttered into a small area, no pun intended.  Everything just went by like, WHOOSH!  And left me kinda in the dust, dazed and baffled, trying to make sense of what happened.  I feel that if you expanded it, wrote more details, perhaps a little more explanation, things might be a little clearer
love2love17 replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Oh ok! I gotcha. Thanks for the suggestion!
~Air~ said...
Feb. 26, 2010 at 6:02 pm
I thought it was pretty interesting. Sure it wasn't perfect, but still good. It was a bit confusing in a way, and I didn't understand why the character would have a tube in their nose when it would have to be connected to something in order to do anything. Is there like an oxygen tank in there or something? Well, anyway, good work!
love2love17 replied...
Feb. 26, 2010 at 6:11 pm
yeah there is! the killer has a medical background. :D
little-miss-sunshine said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 6:43 pm
This was rather confusing. I like the theme but think it could be improved. As Nikiblue said the setting was confusing, but I also found the IV and breathing tube and camera confusing. Maybe without downright saying what's going on you could explain it a little more. This piece definitely has potential though, it just needs some work.
love2love17 replied...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 7:32 pm
thank you i appreciate it :)
Nikiblue said...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Honestly, it kinda confused me. At first I thought it was talking about being in a hospital, but then you switched to being in a forest. I think if you made it so that it went with one type of setting it would have been less confusing. Keep writing, and I'll be sure to check up on your writing every now and then. (:
love2love17 replied...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 8:52 pm
yeah what I meant by that is the kidnapper has medical experience, I see the confusion but thank you! :)
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