January 15, 2010
By , Mililani, HI
She lights her first cigarette of the day, walks outside and meets her friend to walk to school
“Since when do you smoke?” he asks .“Since forever” she replys and puts her sunglasses on.
“you know,you really shouldn‘t be doing that.” her friend says. “yeah well, its my decision then isn’t it?”

They arrive at school just in time for the first bell. she put out her cigarette and pulls out her cherry blossom lotion. She covers her arms, neck and face then pops a stick of gum in her mouth. The second bell rings; Off to class.

At lunch, she finds a note in her locker and recognizes her friends handwriting. It read:
Dear bff,

Please stop this nasty habit, it’s not good for your body or soul. I have no other choice but to
Not hang out with you until you stop. It’s more than clear that you’ve brgan this habit cause something is bringing you down. And what if your parents find out?or other family members? What will you do then?turn to alcohol? Just trust me….STOP!

Love ya!

The bell rings, signifying the end of the day. She walks home alone wondering why her friend can just ditch her like that. She passes the potheads and druggies walking faster than she thought. She lights another cigarette and keeps her mind on that.

She turns the key to her house cigarette in hand knowing her mother and brother are at work. But today,she was wrong. Her mother looks at her in astonishment and her brother just shakes his head. BUSTED.

“What in the world are you doing?!” “What the hell is your problem?”give me the pack. Now.
She obeys her mother’s orders and hands her the pack of smokes.”Sit down.” she does.

“I cannot even look at you right now.” her mother said in disgust.
“Mom, im sorry.”
“That doesn’t even matter. I don’t want to listen to you. You will listen to me child.”
“As long as I am your mother and both of our eyes are brown, until you stop, I will flip your world up side down round and round until my voice has no more sound. I‘ve told you to stop and yet you fall right back into the old habits!”

“mom, I know. I‘ve been going through a lot of stress and I needed it I‘ll never do it again, I swear!”
“yeah, I‘ve heard that one before. What can I do to get the message through your thick a** head?..you’re just like your father.”
And with that said, she felt a tear of anger and regret start to trickle down her cheek.
“I‘ve never went through this with your brother or sister, I wish you were more like them. Just get out of my face.”
She steps into the shower and lets the cold water beat against her back for the tears are warm enough.
She closes her eyes and reflects upon her actions but is too ashamed to let them leave her mouth.
Tears burn as they fall from her eyes. She knows this lesson cannot be learned.

Her mother is asleep and her brother is out cold; this moment is too precious to let go.
Slowly, very slowly and quietly, she removes the louvers from her window one by one, pokes her head out the sighs in relief.
“Ahh. No one‘s outside.”
She lights another one and watches the smoke escape her lips.
A cold breeze circulates through her hair and runs it’s cold fingers along her face making her shiver.
The wind gently blows on the lighted end making it brighter, hotter, telling her to take another drag.
She listens to the command and inhales.
She knows she’s strong and can handle this but she has been doing it for too long. For cigarettes is where she belongs.
Sometimes she wishes she could just grab it, stab it, and throw it away but it’s clear that this habit is here to stay.
She is so mad at herself, she could spit!
But she knows, it’s too hard for an addict like her to just…Quit.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Joe B. said...
May 2, 2010 at 5:30 pm
This is an incredibly accurate glimpse into addiction... thank you for this
diamond07 replied...
May 4, 2010 at 9:38 pm
wow thanks very much
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