Georgia Carver

December 31, 2009
By , Topeka, KS
“Yo, English Muffin, turn ‘round!”

Georgia looked up from the sink to see Shaniqua Lewis in the mirror, standing behind her.

“Yes?” she said, not turning around.

“I don’ like yo’ attitude. Y’all think yo’ betta than me?”

“Better than I. And no, I haven’t really put much thought into that issue, although if a person’s ability to speak English were a judge of their character, I would be a far superior individual.”

“Say wha now?”


“Girl, Imma mess yo face up fo’ talkin’ like dat!”

Georgia spun around to face Shaniqua and said, “Girl, I’ll snap your neck in half like a carrot for speaking English like that!”

Shaniqua’s mouth dropped open, aghast. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, home girl, you heard me, yo. I said it to your face!” Georgia widened her eyes and crossed her arms. As Shaniqua gaped at her silently, Georgia turned on her heel and walked out of the bathroom, attempting to imitate Shaniqua’s odd gait.

Seeing that it was almost lunch, she decided to meander around the hallways instead of returning to class. “What a simpleminded troll! I could have outsmarted her if I had been deaf, blind, and mute! She attempts to mock me, yet she cannot even speak her native tongue competently! Hee hee!”

Turning a corner, she suddenly encountered Mr Bugler, who was muttering to himself. Seeing Georgia, he intoned, “Pass, Miss Carver?”

“Pass what? Oh, yes, you may pass by me, I am simply meandering.”

“Hall pass, Miss Carver?”

“Why, I suppose so, since this is a hall.”

“Do you have a hall pass with you?” Irritation began to surface in his voice.

“A what?”


“Permission to walk in the hallway?”


“Then may I have it?”


“You cite me for not having a pass, yet I am not allowed one?”

Mr Bugler simply stared at her.

“This makes absolutely no sense! Do you people set about trying to confuse others?”

Sighing, Mr Bugler pulled out a pen and a pad of paper. As he began to write he said, “I’m afraid I have to give you a detention.”

“Why must I be detained? What inane rule have I broken now, Mr Bugler? A rule of spontaneous invention?”

He handed the paper to Georgia. “See that, Miss Carver? That is the time and the room number of your detention.”

Looking at the paper, Georgia said, “I cannot attend today. I am otherwise engaged.”

“You should have considered that before blatantly breaking the rules.”

“Shaniqua Lewis and her minions roam freely with impunity.”

“False. They have so many accumulated detentions that the school has lost track.”

“I request legal representation. This is a democracy, Mr Bugler. This is America, land of the unfettered and home of the courageous. I have the right to remain innocent.”

A vein in Mr Bugler’s temple twitched, and his jaw went slack with ire. “Get… yourself… to… class.”

“I have class. I was raised well.”


“Leaves? Where? I thought trees were outside.”

Mr Bugler growled with sheer fury and marched away, muttering even more loudly and incoherently than before.

“Detention?” Georgia called toward him. “At Jennings School, they force us to endure public humiliation and copious beatings with a ruler, yet baboons like Shaniqua Lewis must simply sit in a room and endure nothing? How puerile this school’s discipline system is! The purpose of punishment is to be beaten into submission, not to sit like an oaf and stare at a wall!”

At this point, the bell, which was right above Georgia’s head, rang loudly and interrupted her. Students came teeming out of their classrooms, making animalistic noises and elbowing their way through the herd. Georgia flattened herself against the lockers and walked sideways down the hallway.

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