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A Sailor's Wife
His eyes sparkled like diamonds that had been caressed by the light of the sun. He was in his Naval uniform. He seemed happy to see my face as he stepped off the ship. I could see what the war had done to him though you couldn't tell it by the way that he smiled.
I ran to embrace him. Not knowing how much time I would have with him before it was time for him to be deployed again. I knew that time was not on our side.
We walked to the family that he left so long ago. His parents have gotten a little older. The baby that he's never been able to meet before shies away from him. I watched as tears filled his eyes. There is so much that he's missed.
We climb in the car. He takes one last look at the ship that will, one day, take him back to a war that he has chosen to fight in. He let out a sigh. I could tell that he was relieved to have made it home. His silence said everything.
We pulled up to a house that he once knew. It looks different now. The vines have grown up the side. There are now children's toys in the front yard and a puppy to greet us. Again I can see the tears.
He unloads his bags from the car. I can tell that he is almost afraid to unpack. A hopeless act since time is of the essence. He is home for now though.
The house welcomes him back. It is a place of refuge for him. A place of hope. A place full of love not hate. I can tell by his face that he is overwhelmed. All that he can do is hold on to me. It's as if he has never held me before.
Night falls and it's time to put the baby to bed. He watches from a corner. I guess he's too afraid that if he holds her that he'll lose it and never be able to stop crying. We say our good-nights and give away kisses. His hand stops at the light switch. He takes another look at our child. I guess to take her in. With that last look the lights go out.
We go to bed shortly after. Thats when they start. The nightmares. I can hear the NOs and PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE REAL. Tears form behind my eyes. I wish I can take away the pain and the nightmares. After a while he wakes up screaming. I hold him, it's the only thing I know to do. His sobs are like daggers to my heart. He cries himself to sleep and so do I.
I can feel the sun on my eyes. I hear the alarm in the distance as I began to wake from a dream of a love that was lost in a war that he thought he had to fight. Our baby will never meet him. She'll never be held by him. She'll never be kissed good-night by him. Today, we bury a man who gave his life for the country that he loved. I'll wear black and shed tears. I'll lay on single purple rose on his casket. They will bury him and he will be gone but not forgotten. His memory will forever be in my heart and in my mind. He will stay alive in my dreams.
One day I will with him again. Until that day comes, I will lay one purple rose on his casket every year on this day.