Pheleep'e becomes a pansie

November 3, 2009
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Pheleep’e Gootenberg grew up in France as a child. He was always shy and also polite and did superb in academics. Pheleep’e always had a style of his own. Some called it unique but others called it down right weird. He has quite the collection of over-alls in his closet, because those were his everyday outfits. Kids never respected Pheleep’e. Students always picked on him for his outspoken style and also for how smart he was. He grew up without friends and his parents began to worry. Once Pheleep’e reached age nine his parents thought that he would never be able to make friends. Pheleep’e, instead of making “real” friends turned to spending quality time with stuffed animals and imaginary friends. Mr. And Mrs. Gootenberg of course still worried about their only sons social skills so when Pheleep’e reached age ten they bought him a golden retriever. Most parents start out by giving young children something easy to handle, such as an ant farm, just so they can learn responsibility but of course they thought Pheleep’e could handle it. Mr. And Mrs. Gootenberg hoped that getting Pheleep’e a dog might help him gain social skills and maybe soon enough he would start making friends but nothing ever happened so his parents were full of delight that at least he had a companion to keep him company. A year past and it was soon to be Pheleepe’s 11th birthday. Days past, soon three weeks past and it was the day of Pheleepe’s birthday. His parents announced that night at Pheleepe’s birthday dinner that the Gootenberg would be moving to America this coming summer. Mr. And Mrs. Gootenberg thought Pheleep’e would go on a rampage when he found out his family would be moving. Turns out Pheleep’e couldn’t wait to move to the USA, he heard it was bright, free, and full of amazing people. Pheleep’e and his parents, soon enough packed their things and of course that did include Pheleepe’s collection of over-alls and he also had to take along his golden retriever who he ended up naming “Shobeef”.

The Gootenberg family took a plane to the United States and ended up in Hatonka, Missouri. Pheleepe would soon begin school and would be in Junior High and attend Hatonka Pansies Junior High School, but of course Pheleep’e knew his soon to be fellow classmates would not actually be pansies, but boy was he in for a surprise.

The night before school Pheleep’e was ecstatic and could not wait for his donut shaped alarm clock to ring and go “DING, DING, DING” as loud as a siren. That morning came and Pheleep’e jumped right out of bed and planted his feet on the hard wood floor and hopped in the shower.

Turns out when Pheleep’e gets nervous or “over excited” he sweats repulsively, so thank goodness for a nice cold shower. Pheleep’e jumped out of the freezing shower and his hair was wetter than a janitors mop. He combed his hair back with “Mr. Slick me back” hair gel. Then put on a pair of nice and crisply ironed over-alls and put on his orange undershirt which just so happened to be brighter than a traffic cone and some raised sandals, his sandals reminded his old peers in France of High Heels and when he walked they snapped every time he took a step going “CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, over and over again.

Pheleep’es family was still unpacking their household items into their shack sized mobile home, so Pheleep’e was digging through some cardboard boxes trying to find some of his father’s clone or what Pheleep’e calls “smelly goods” and instead of pulling his fathers “smelly goods” out of the box he accidentally pulled his mothers perfume out and used it…the smell of his mothers perfume had a sort of “old woman smell” to it. Of course Pheleep’e had poor eye sight and wore huge glasses bigger than his face that just so happened to be perfect circles and he also brushed his teeth, Pheleep’e had a horrid smile, his teeth were going in all different directions, over lapping and had a slight yellow tint to them.
Before school Pheleepe’s mother had to take a million pictures on her disposable camera so she could remember the day her son went to his first day of school in America. Pheleep’e rode the bus to school and his parents both walked him to the bus stop and gave him hugs and kisses then waved goodbye as the bus drove away, you see Pheleepe’s mother becomes really emotional when her “baby boy” goes to a new school, or accomplishes something, so before Pheleep’e could get on the bus his mother started crying and wouldn’t let go of Pheleep’e and she kept saying “my little bay bay is so grown up”…until Mr. Gootenberg had to pry his wife off of their son so he could go off to school. Soon enough Pheleep’e arrived at the front of Pansie Junior High where he hoped to be accepted for who he was.

As soon as he stepped off the bus and placed his left high heel sandal on the cement ground he got stares from Pansie students all around, the students soon began to whisper and laugh. Of course Pheleep’e was clueless as to what the Pansie students were gocking and laughing at. So Pheleep’e smiled without showing his teeth and waved with his right arm held high, as if he was reaching up into the clouds. Although Pheleep’e was from France he had a Spanish accent that was very thick. Pheleep’e opened his mouth and said “Ello my fellow Pansies!” then continued walking with a giant grin on his face while other students raised eyebrows and pointed and laughed.

He opened the front glass door to his school and then it slammed shut behind him with a loud “BAM”. Pheleep’e shrugged then started to frolic down the halls as if he was in a field of daisies located in La La land.

Pheleep’e skipped down the locker halls until he arrived at his own, and then he couldn’t help but smile and show his teeth. Then he screeched out loudly “Wharrt Beuteeful lockers”. The lockers just so happened to be really nasty colors such as pea green, rusty orange, and mud brown. The lockers also had paint chipping off of them and they creaked when you opened them.

Pheleep’e placed a family Christmas photo in his locker from when he was 10 when his whole family was wearing tacky Christmas sweaters that his great grandma Poopsie made for them. A girl had her locker unfortunately located right next to Pheleep’es, and as she grabbed her books for first hour Pheleep’e couldn’t help but to introduce himself “Ello me name is Pheleep’e, who you be?” the girl just giggled and smiled then shut her locker door and said “ I’m Kate, and you smell” of course Pheleep’e was not yet used to these American terms and he grinned and said “Oh spank you Miss Kate, spank you so much”

The girl smirked and blew a giant bubble with her fruity double bubble gum and walked away.

Pheleep’es day continued and he continued to frolic as his fellow pansies continued to giggle and harass. That afternoon Pheleep’e got on his yellow school bus and rode it home, as soon as he arrived at the bus stop on the corner of his street he saw Mr. And Mrs. Gootenberg standing there with the biggest grins on there faces so anxious to ask their son about his first day at school. Pheleep’e got ready to jump off the bus but at the last second he turned around and said to the bus driver “Spank you for de ride home Mr. Boos driber” and the bus driver raised one eyebrow wondering what Pheleep’e was trying to say but he soon caught on and said “Your sure welcome”. Pheleep’e then jumped off the bus and ran over to where his parents were standing and they were both open armed and ready for hugs and kisses, but Pheleep’e soon put his hands in front of his parents faces and said “NOO COOH KIDS DON’T DO DAT!” …Now Pheleep’es mother had never heard her baby boy deny her hugs and kisses so Pheleep’es mother began to tear up and sob. Pheleepe’s father was so disappointed in Pheleep’e that he sent him to his room for making his mother cry. Pheleepe stomped to his room and all you could hear were his flip-flops clomping on the floor going “SNAP SNAP SNAP” and once he reached his room you heard a loud “BAM” and of course both his parents knew Pheleepe slammed his door.

Pheleep’e just wanted to be cool, he wanted to be liked and also he wanted to be accepted even if that meant not being him self. After about ten minutes of letting Pheleep’e sit in his room and think about what he had just done Mr. Gootenberg came in through Pheleep’es bedroom door. Pheleepe had the biggest frown on his face as though his lips could go strait into the floor. Mr. Gootenberg took one Pheleep’e and huffed then went and sat down on the edge of Pheleep’es bed. He pat Pheleep’e on the back and said “I understennd eff your oopset” and Pheleep’e shook his head in an up and down motion to explain to his father that he had his attention. All Pheleep’e wanted was to finally be liked…it didn’t matter to him if he had to pretend he was someone other than his nerdy self. He didn’t mind at all throwing out all his overalls, all his pokemon playing cards and all his comic books, just as long as he would finally be liked. Mr. Gootenberg could see the hunger in his son’s eyes to be liked and to be accepted. So he said “ I’ll tell you wharrt tomorrow we will go down to dehh oh what do you call it…um DEH MALL DATS RIGHT DEH MALL!” Pheleepe smiled with delight and gave his father a gigantic hug and said, “Spank you fadder”. Pheleep’e was finally going to get new clothes other than over-alls and maybe just maybe finally be able to accepted at school.





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