December 21, 2009
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My classmates sprang into warm cars being greeted by their mother’s gleaming smiles and comforting arms. I waited. Murky clouds gazed at me from above and the dark sky swirled slowly like a worn out merry- go- round. Snowflakes enveloped my long, brown curls. My skinny legs covered in sheer, black tights were buried in the carpet of ice. I shivered. I watched the hazy mist stream out of my mouth and get carried away by the bitter wind. My small nose and swollen cheeks turned a shade of bright crimson. Pleated, white collared shirt, tidy black and blue skirt, clunky black loafers, all covered in snow. I didn’t look like Mommy’s perfect little girl anymore. The quiet, petite girl who attended private school. I never said a word. No one expected me to. Now, I wanted to scream. I wish someone was hear just so they could hear me scream. Salty tears filled my dropping eyes. I was tired; I just wanted to go home. Where was she now? Alone, I stood in the white lot as the darkness overtook me.

Snapshot #2
I bit my pencil and tapped my foot quickly against the large, oak kitchen table. My tall, skinny, sun kissed, sister stood by the sink. She stared at me shadily behind her bleached hair. She was naturally a brunette; I liked her better that way.
“You really have to calm down Alexis. Take a chill pill.”
I sighed and stared down at the numerous blank math equations I couldn’t solve.
“I just don’t get math. I need to do it right,” I said.
“Nahhh, a couple of stupid math problems aren’t going to get you anywhere in life. Close the book Alexis. Chill.”
“Vic, no, I have to get this done, I have so much more to do.”
After I said this, Vic said nothing. She just turned around, walked to her room, and snickered quietly to herself. Two minutes later she came back in the room with a bottle in her hand. She set it down on the counter and grabbed for a glass. She knew I was watching her. Soaking in every move she made. Slowly, she turned the cap and poured the contents into the glass. A dark, ruby liquid filled the glass to the rim. It reminded me of blood. Vic drank all of the contents, leaving just a little bit in the bottom of the glass. Her eyes were set on me the whole time. I was perplexed. Soon enough, Vic was whispering in my face and in my left ear. I felt scared. She dangled the glass in front of me.

“Take a sip Alexis. It won’t do you any harm.”
I turned away quick and looked down at my seventh grade math equations. Suddenly, Vic snatched my book and threw it on the floor, where all of my neat papers sputtered about.

“Don’t be a little baby, drink it. Come on, I promise. It tastes good.”
Her hot breath wisped around my face. A thick, sour smell lingered around me. Taunting me. I didn’t even think about what I was about to do. I grabbed the glass from her hand and let the bitter alcohol run down my throat.

“What a good, little girl you are,” Vic murmured with a sly smile on her face.
I knew one thing about myself from that point on. I wasn’t a good, little girl.


I pushed back my dark blue sweater sleeve and peered down at my watch. 6:11 P.M. I wasn’t in a rush though. The only person I was expecting to be home was my dad. It was Wednesday and he was always back from work before 7 on Wednesdays. My scuffed, black loafers tapped along the narrow city street until I came to the dark green awning that read, “The Ritz Carlton.” This was my home. I loved the place. Hated the people. As I passed by Carmine, the concierge, I waved and smiled. He did the same. I sighed as I approached the grand and gold elevator doors. I studied my reflection in the doors for a quick second and realized how dead I looked. Just dead and alone. Dark circles under my eyes, chapped lips, un- tucked shirt, disheveled hair. I pressed the button, the doors opened, and I disappeared. I walked in and pressed the button that had “8” written on it in fancy script. No one was in the elevator. I watched the numbers crawl up slowly from 1 to my floor. “Ding.” The doors opened and I strolled out, turned right, left, and came to my door. I searched for the key in my backpack and when I got a hold of it I put it in the keyhole and turned the knob slowly. Suddenly, the knob turned quickly and the door opened. A tall, slim woman with straight chestnut colored hair. She was wearing a black dress with skinny paten-leather stilettos. She struggled to lift up the strap on her dress. Her crimson lipstick was smudged. She rushed by me quickly. As she left, my father stood in her place.

Snapshot #4

I needed to take a step away from it all. I needed to get out. Get out of the room with the blaring rock music piercing my ears. The thick, pasty smell of alcohol strangling me. Get away from my drunk and high older brother and his friends. Get out of the beautiful hotel in which I lived, but always felt alone in. I needed someone, but no one was there. My brother used to be a good kid. Straight A’s, good group of friends, all his teachers loved him, and he loved me too. I felt it. Everyone used to be good. Used to be. Not anymore. Not even me. I started running. My legs were no longer a part of me. They had their own mind now. I sprinted through the maze of drunken teenagers towering over me. All I saw was quick moving bodies and hazes of dark colors. I bursted through the door and darted to the elevator. I pressed the lobby button hastily and waited until I arrived downstairs. I ran through a bunch of people. Eyes looked down upon me. I heard voices saying, “Miss do you need help? Are you ok?” I didn’t listen because I didn’t believe the voices. No one cared. I felt tears swell up in my eyes. I reached the revolving door. I swung through it and felt the cold, autumn air blow on my bare shoulders. I looked left. I looked right.

Snapshot #5
I left.

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