You don't the whole story until you know my story

December 16, 2009
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The electricity went out again for the town so the teachers ended class without a bell. There was a charge like a bull pit of students rushing for warmth in the buses. Despite being mid afternoon still, the cloud coverage shrouded Hillsborough in darkness. The puffy winter jackets were in sharp contrast to the beginning light hoodies. After only a few months in school, there was more than facts from a textbook learned.

The town's generator still hadn't been replaced, but someone managed to fix it... Sort of (probably with duct tape?) Every once in awhile the lights still flickered, but it always came back on. The wind blistered through my thin coat, despite the fake fur. I walked backwards to avoid getting my head blown off. For once, I was glad to get onto the bus. Sitting on the cheap seats, I could see some remains of the hot chocolate incident. By habit, the first thing I got out was my iPod and began shuffling the songs. “It's never enough to say I'm sorry. It's never enough to say I care.” Ashleigh still wouldn't talk to me, but I felt the need to text her.

I kissed Ryan for the first time today, but I'd break up with him if you'll forgive me.

I got a reply almost instantly. I wondered if she expected me to text her. “It's like one step forward and two steps back. No matter what I do, you're always mad. And I can't change your mind.”

i dont care wat u do or who u talk 2 so just leave me alone

For some reason, I didn't feel the tears this time. The tinge of regret didn't come. I wasn't smiling, but my heart seemed at peace.

Oh. I know you gave me a second chance I messed up. I'll get out of your life now. Good-bye.

I wasn't sad. I didn't plan on apologizing later or talking to her anymore. “It's never enough to say I love you. No, it's never enough to say I try. Maybe we're just not meant to be.” Sojourner's words came back and hit me hard. I should have listened, but I didn't. That's okay. Someday, maybe today, I will learn from my mistakes. My time wasn't wasted because everything has a reason. In a couple years, if I ever reminisce about these times, I'll smile... Although it might be a sad smile to me, it's still a smile 'cause the journey was worth it. Life's too short to have regrets, people change, things go wrong, take chances, give everything, but I'll always remember what I had. All I can do is put my whole heart into things.

The streetlights twitched a little, then started burning brightly, lighting up the gloomy mood. Our bus glided smoothly down the incandescent streets, all of us ready for the New Year. The sun will rise again tomorrow.

“Growing up sucks. Not all kisses are magic and most boys do not live up to your expectations, but there are those times when everything, I mean... love, romance, relationships, it all falls together perfectly and it's incredible.”

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