My Sad Life Continued 2

December 15, 2009
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His screams come from somewhere in the distance, but I still hear them. They go unanswered. Either the people in this place are deaf, or they are used to whoever it is screaming. My mom looks at me, trying to see my reaction. I glare back at her, and pick up the bottle of perfume sitting next to me, contemplating whether I should throw it at her or not. Or maybe spray it into Gabby’s eyes again. I decide against it. I put it back and Sarah is staring at it with a I think I want some so I’m going to steal it while she’s not looking look on her face. “You touch it, you die.” I tell her.

“I wasn’t going to take any.” She says in her winey six year-old voice.

“Yeah. Don’t think I believe you…Quit staring at it you little monkey. God, its annoying me.” My mom gives me a stern look and I shut up.

“So how do you like it here?” My mom asks, trying to make small talk.

“Hate it. Want to go home.”
“You have only been here fifteen minuets. How can you hate it? You haven’t even gotten the full tour yet.”
“Then why the hell did you ask?Let me tell you something mom, I will do anything to get out of here. Don’t underestimate me. You know how bad I can be.”

“Sounds like we are going to have some problems already is that right Paige? I don’t think you want to cause problems on your first week here, you really don’t want to get sent to the other wing on your first week do you?” Jake has entered the room and is raising an eyebrow at me. I grimace at him and turn to face my soon to be step-father.

“Are you in on all this? Are you helping pay for it to?”

“Yes I am. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering. Oh, if your stupid girls go into my room while I’m gone, the next time I see them, I don’t care where it is, I will personally kill them. And I will be happy about it. Got it? I have ways of knowing when someone goes in my room, even if I’m very far away from it.” I turn my head towards the two little girls that are staring at me with a look of horror on their faces. It made me smile. Good, maybe that will teach them to steal from me again the little brats.

“Does your daughter have anger issues Mrs. Cotroneo?”

“Not that I know of, she has never had to be in any classes if that’s what you mean.”

“So you wouldn’t mind if I signed her up for some anger therapy then?” I snap my head back towards him. “I don’t need therapy. Or any of the other drugs you will probably be putting me on either. I’m not depressed honestly, ask my friends, they will tell you I was a happy normal person at school.”

“Then what about the note we found in your school bag?” He asked. “Seems like you are a sad angry teen to me dear.” He comes over and sits next to my mom, who has started crying again. Did she see it? Did they all see it? Oh god I’m in trouble now.

“That was just something I wrote to help calm myself down that’s all. I didn’t really mean any of it.” Even under drugs, I can still come up with a perfect lie.

“How about the text messages you sent to your friends? Were those true feelings? Or just more lies?” He has turned the full force of his eyes on me and I can’t seem to think up of a lie for that one.

“Ok. That was true. But the note wasn’t, like I said, just something to get all the extra untexted feelings out. Honest. You can ask my friends.”

“We already did. They said that you acted fine at school but at home it was like you were a different person. Is that true?”

I glanced toward my parents. “Can they leave? I don’t want to talk about it in front of them.”

“If you feel more comfortable that way I’m sure they would be happy to get a full tour of the place right?” he looked at my family. They all went out of the room. It was just me and Jake now.

“Can I sit next to you?” He gets up and undoes the straps. I sway towards the bed and take the spot where my mother had been. Then I answer his question.

“Yes. I was a totally different person at home. Always have been, I always act differently then who I really am.”

“Why? Are you scared that if you act the way you truly want to that your parents will not love you?”

“I know that they won’t. They don’t accept me for who I truly am, at least my mom hasn’t… I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I feel like I’m about to cry now.
“That’s fine. Do you need some time alone? You look upset.”

“Yes. That would be nice.” He gives me a tight hug then leaves the room. I hear my mom asking about me, what I said, if she can come in. I hear Jake tell her that I’m upset and that I would like to be alone for a while. It’s also a good time for me to get used to some of my new surroundings. I hear her start crying. God does the woman ever run out of tears? Does she ever stop crying? Then I start sobbing. I wipe my eyes furiously, trying to stop, but the tears continue a steady stream down my face. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong, like I have done something so bad but I cant go back in time and figure out what or why I did it, and now I cant fix it and I’m in trouble for it now. Like someone knows about it and they made my parents send me here so I could learn a lesson or something. Then Shelby comes in. she sees me in tears and runs to my side to try and comfort me.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No. I feel fine. Leave me alone.” She does what I ask and leaves the room.

After some time my brother Aaron comes in. He has a smile on his face.

“Paige guess what?! They have an X-Box here! The foods really good to, most of it is from a lady’s dads farm, so it’s all fresh and yummy. The guy out there wants to know if you’re hungry for something. What should I tell him?”

“Tell him to shove it.”

“Uh… should I just tell him you want a cookie or something?”

“I said tell him to shove it!” He gets a worried look on his face and shuts the door. I hear him ask Jake if he put me on crack or any other drugs. He chuckles and tells him no. That I’m just scared of my new surroundings. I hear him tell Jake exactly what I said. God what a butt, couldn’t he cover for me or something? Jake slowly opens the door and stands in the doorway.

“So you don’t want anything then? What’s wrong, you nervous or something? Why won’t you eat?”

“Because that would require me going out to the cafeteria, I don’t know a single person out there, that’s why.”

“What if I found some kids for you to sit with? Then would you?”

“That depends on whether they will like me or not. Or if they will just stare at me the whole time and not let me eat.”

“Why would they not let you eat?” he raises an eyebrow at me.

“When people are staring at me I can’t eat. I’m too embarrassed.”

“Oh. They won’t stare at you I promise. Who knows, maybe you will have something in common with one of them.”

“Or we could be total opposites and hate each other for the remainder of our stays. Depending on who gets out first.”

“Please. You need to eat something or we will have to force feed you… Wait I know, how about you sit with your family!” He has this thrilled look on his face like he has just thought of the most brilliant idea in the world.

“God no! Sit me with the strangers please.”

“Nope, you’re sitting with your family. Whether you like it or not, come on.” He grabs my hand and leads me out to the cafeteria where my family is waiting. He tells them of his “brilliant” plan and leads all ten of us to a table. People stare at us with wide eyes. Some try to count us all. I keep my head down and stare at the floor. After we have all gotten our food, we take our seats. I try to sit as far away from everybody as possible, but I end up between my mom and dad. I space out my food on my plate, trying to make it look like I have at least taken a few bites of something. Then I get bored of that so I poke at it and mash things together. Good thing it was pot roast and mashed potatoes and gravy, so they will not think I’m weird by mashing that all together. My mom looks at my played with food and tells me to stop playing with it and to just eat it. I tell her to screw off under my breath. Thank god she is to busy talking to Sarah that she does not here me.

Finally she gets annoyed and turns to me. “Paige, eat you darn food please, now the little ones aren’t eating theirs either. Just take one bite.”

“No. I don’t want to. I’m not hungry.” Of course right after I say it Sarah and Gabby say it to. I give my mom an evil smile. She glares at me and tries to convince the girls that its really good food and that I’m just not feeling well, and that’s the reason I’m not eating. That I’m just nervous and need to eat small bites, which is what I’ve been doing and they just haven’t seen me. I rest my head in my hand. Then I see Shelby walking towards us. I quickly shove a bite of potatoes into my mouth.

“How’s everything going over here? The food ok?” She looks mainly at me. She smiles when she notices I have my mouth full.

“Paige won’t eat, so I’m not eating either.” Sarah says. I glare at her and make a gesture at my full mouth. I swallow quickly.

“I am to you little brat, what the hell do you think I just swallowed? Air or something? You saw me Shelby.”

“Yes I did Paige. Your doing good.”





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