Shattered aftermath

December 12, 2009
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She walked like a zombie, unfeeling, unusually quiet. She mustered up what little energy she had to smile at her various classmates that passed her by.
They can’t know something’s wrong. She tried hard to keep up the appearances.
Most of them didn’t say anything. She didn’t look alright, but they hesitated to ask. After all, it was probably just a bad day.
She looked ahead as she walked, but she wasn’t really seeing anything. Her mind is on a track of its own, and she just let it go wherever.
After all, it can’t hurt any worse, right?
She was blank and numb on the outside, and her insides have been shattered.
“The feeling’s gone.”
The sentence echoes in her head, the meaning made worse by the voice and the tone it was spoken in.
Arrogant, cold, condescending.
She refuses to believe it. It must be a lie.
He walked with his usual swagger, calm and cool. Those lazy steps that showed he didn’t give a darn what anyone said and he’ll walk at his own pace.
The only thing that gave it away were the eyes.
Dark circles under his eyes and a faint tinge of pink if you looked closely enough, those were the only signs.
He nodded at a friend who passed by and exchanged greetings with another. He didn’t stop to chat. He didn’t trust his voice.
Besides, he didn’t want anyone looking too closely. He’s not sure how much effort he’s going to bother put in to disguise what he’s feeling.
Then again, there was only really one person here that could see through his act, and that person probably won’t bother.
He mentally checked himself. That’s not something to think about.
You have to do what you have to do.
Close the door to the conscience.
They didn’t cross paths all morning. The one time he saw her coming he turned and walked in the other direction. She didn’t take in her surroundings at all.
At lunch, she took her place among her usuals. The usuals save one.
She got a few questions thrown her way about where that “one” was. She answered them with her usually sarcasm, “How would I know? Probably off somewhere doing whatever he wants.”
The way the words were spoken had a cold edge to it. People stopped asking.
She didn’t really want to explain what happened. After all, the truth has yet to be discovered. She simply can’t believe that was the only reason.
So she laughed and smiled and talked and did all the things she was expected to do. She got a few concerned looks from some of her intimates.
Was her laugh too loud? Or maybe it was because when she smiled it didn’t reach her eyes, and the smile faded as quickly as it came.
She gave a reassuring smile when questioned. Of course, when has she not been fine? She can take care of herself, always.
Inwardly, she scoffed. Take care of herself, yeah right.
She glanced sideways at her water bottle. He’s always said to let loose once in a while, didn’t he?
He watched as she took a swig of whatever was in her water bottle. That’s the sixth time in 2 minutes.
Yeah, he counted. Pathetic, isn’t it?
He observed her as she swallowed hard, and winced a little as if whatever was going down her throat burned. It can’t be just water in that bottle, unless it was her throat problem that was bothering her again.
No, that’s not it. If it was her throat problem, she would be massaging her neck.
What was in that bottle?
He had a good idea, but he needed to confirm it. After all, he never really thought she could actually do it. For someone so intelligent, she sure does some stupid things.
He was overtaken by a memory, seeming from so long ago. Their playful banter about what would happen if she got intoxicated. He’d never thought he’d see the day.
At lunch he’d simply walked away with a couple of other guys and hit up the tiny plaza place. He didn’t really want to stay in the school, it’s not like he really belonged anywhere.
Where he belonged, he couldn’t really go.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

MayaChristine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 10:23 pm
I'm really surprised I'm the first to comment on this article! I love it! I really want to know what happens and what's already happened in the first place!! Keep writing :D xxx
OnyxDivine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Hey, thanks so much for commenting! The story does go on, but I've hit a bit of a roadblock...

I'll post more soon,  encouragement is greatly appreciated :)

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