The End

December 6, 2009
The rain poured down hard on my body. I watched every drop fall on my naked hand and split into a million droplets. Slowly they roll down my hand and drop on the bench that I was sitting on. I picked my head up to the sky and gazed at the face that was staring back at me. It was upset. It looked mad. I was puzzled. I stared at it some more. A voice echoed in my head. “ YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!’ The voice turned into a face as my eyelids lowered. The face began to run toward me and I began to realize that this scene is familiar. The pupils behind my eyelids widened in shock as a hard force hit my body and I flew backward. I hit the back of my head against a wall and felt a hot stream flowing down my head. Slowly I reached the back of my head and saw my hand soaked in a blur of red. The face was raging with anger. “I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” she began to run toward me again. This time she held a glass bottle in her right hand and stopped right near a mirror before she got to me. She laughed and smashed the vodka bottle against the mirror. With the broken bottle she ran to me and slashed it across my face. She screamed and threw the bottle at me. It hit my chest and shattered into a million pieces. Now the red liquid was all over me. The pain was throbbing all over my chest. I could not look down because my neck would not let me. I couldn’t get up either. I was weak. A soft hot fluid that felt similar to the one before was rolling down my cheeks. I closed my eyes. She looked at me and said “aww…. What a poor girl.. you’re crying aren’t you…”she stroked my cheek with her hand. She laughed and said, “well now there’s no one here to save you” she said smiling. “You ruined my life, you know that?” she looked to the side, where a now cracked mirror took place. I turned my head to the direction she was looking at. The image of me gasped as I saw what she turned me into. I gritted my teeth. “Well, you know what? You ruined my life just as well” and I punched her right in the face as I hard as my weak hands could handle. She fell back and held her jaw. “You son of a ….!” And she swung. I fell back and fell into the glass. The room began to blur. The pain began to subside. Oh, this is nice I thought. A warm sensation trickled through my body. I smiled to myself. Dying isn’t so bad after all… I opened my eyes if only that’s how it ended I thought.

I walked down the street half dressed. It was 31 degrees out side and the rain felt like ice. My heart pounded with the rhythm of the rain and flashbacks kept returning to me. I shuddered as I remembered the things she’s said to me. They were worse then being hit. Those words were like the knives that stabbed me in the stomach countlessly. A broken record. If only that was how it had ended I thought…if only

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Rennie said...
Feb. 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Very descriptive!!!!!! Really really liked it!!!!
Emily:) said...
Jan. 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm
The concept was really great and the detail pretty vivid. I was pretty much terrified for the good portion of it. However, you should work on your dialogue. Each time someone talks, you should start a new paragraph. While you still have some editing to do, the plot seems great and you seem really talented. Keep it up! (p.s: don't worry about the lack of comments. people will read eventually. At least, they should. This is too good to miss out on)
alicecullen replied...
Jan. 10, 2010 at 7:20 pm
oh my god! thank you! i am so happy someone actually gave me feedback! i will make sure to work on the paragraphs. Thank you for all the positive feedback too!
alicecullen said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 7:50 pm
how come no ones reading my story? i worked really hard on it, but do think that the ending needs work! i need feedback from you guys!
PoetLaureate07 replied...
Mar. 5, 2010 at 10:44 pm
i dont understand how she lived through it..... im kinda confused.... help....nice description though..... =)
alicecullen replied...
Mar. 6, 2010 at 2:20 pm
hahahaahh..... honestly.... when i wrote this i was raging with anger and i was crying... i was in pain.... emotional pain..... so i didnt know what i was writing myself... so i when i calmed down a bit was when i realized that my story didnt make sense except for the fact that it was very descriptive... but i posted it up anyway...:)
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