You Always Want What You Can't Have (Part Two)

November 17, 2009
“Will you be my, gi-girlfriend?” He stutters, but he gets it out.

I kiss his cheek and grin. “Of course.”


By Monday everyone in school knows about mine and Kyle’s switch of labels. We were now boyfriend and girlfriend. The only problem with this situation was Tyler finding out. Art was awkward, so I kept my headphones in and my head down to avoid eye contact with Tyler. I did not receive a text from Tyler during second period, or the rest of school, nor did I receive a text from him for the rest of the day.

After three days of no communication between Tyler and me, I figure he really doesn’t care. On Thursday I say hello during art, and he nods his head at me. Good, a response. Not a verbal response, but it is a start.

I turn away when I see Tyler coming down the hallway when I am at my locker with Kyle. I don’t think being in the same hallway, or even building with the two of them could ever feel okay. It will just always be awkward between the three of us. Kyle tries to kiss me when Tyler walks by and I turn my head and pull away.

“What are you doing, Kyle?” I say a little too loud, four people turn around and look at me.

“Trying to give my girlfriend a kiss, is that okay?”

“Tyler just walked by, I know what your trying to do. You’re trying to make him jealous, you’re such a jerk.” I slam my locker and start to walk away before he grabs onto the sleeve of my t-shirt. “Get off, Kyle.” I say as I pull my arm away and continue walking.

I feel bad because of what Kyle just attempted to do at my locker so I decide to text Tyler during class.

I send a text: “Look, Im sry. Sry bout lyin about not wantin a relationship. I wasnt lyin when I said that cause of you being a senior and me being a junior, it wouldnt work. You graduate in a few months and then you are off to college. I am sry about Kyle tryin to make you jealous, I yelled at him, if it makes you feel any better. I want us to be friends again.”

No response. I re-send the text message, and again, no response.



Sunday morning I receive a text from Kyle.

New text from: Kyle: “Rly Kayla? It hasnt evn been 2 weeks & youre goin to cheat on me?”

Instantly, I am confused. I was with Kyle all week. Surprisingly we were not together on Saturday because I had to stay home and have “family night” with my parents and younger brother. I push the end button on my phone to close out of the text and call Kyle.

He ignores my first three tries and finally picks up on the fourth try. “What do you want Kayla?”

“Kyle, what are you talking about? I am beyond confused.”

“I know about you and Tyler. You lied about last night and staying home with your family. Everyone is talking about how you went to Tyler’s house last night and hooked up.”

“Hooked up? With Tyler? Last night? Kyle, I have never touched Tyler in my life. You really don’t believe that I stayed home with my family?”

“Everyone is talking about it Kayla! Quit lying. I cannot believe you right now.” I can hear it in his voice that he doesn’t believe me.

“Kyle! I would not do that to you! Call my parents. Call Tyler.” I start to panic. Why doesn’t he believe me? Who started this rumor?

“You’re such a liar.” Click. He hung up on me.

I call Tyler. No answer. I call again. No answer. For the rest of my day, I sit around and worry. I don’t eat, I don’t drink, I don’t shower. I sit in my bed and stare at my phone waiting for Tyler to call back or for Kyle to text me and say “Gotcha’!” But my phone never rings, vibrates or lights up. I fall asleep around midnight, and drag myself out of bed the next day for school.

I walk into school and head towards my locker. I feel like everyone is staring, pointing and whispering as I walk by. “That’s the girl who cheated on Kyle McKenna last weekend with Tyler O’Brien.”
Kyle meets me at my locker before first period and I get myself excited that he was kidding yesterday morning.

“I want you to know we are done.” He looks down at his feet as he tells me.

I can’t even come up with words do respond to him so I walk away. I walk to art and sit next to Tyler and look at him.

“What did you do?” I ask Tyler.

He looks at me with a smirk. “Oh, nothing Kayla.” Does he think this is funny now?

“What did you do, Tyler?” I ask again.

“You know how you said you didn’t want a relationship?”

“I text you and told you I was lying to you about that.” I’m confused now.

“Do you remember how you told me in the beginning that you didn’t want a relationship?” His smirk becomes a slight smile.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I thought I would help you out. You didn’t want a relationship, now you don’t have one.
Not with me, not with Kyle.”

“So you made the rumor up?” I could punch him. I want to. I should. He deserves it.

Tyler gets up and asks the teacher if he can use the restroom. He grabs his agenda, bends down and puts his mouth next to my ear. “I had fun Saturday, Kayla.” He whispers and walks away laughing. I cannot believe him. Was he that jealous? He told me he didn’t care. Why would he do that to me? Why would he ruin my relationship?

Before I know it, black eyeliner tears are running down my face. I get up and walk out of the classroom without asking the teacher for a pass. I pull out my phone and text Kyle seven times, telling him about Tyler making up the rumor. He doesn’t respond to any of the text which makes my tears come down faster. I wouldn’t cheat, I swear. No one believes me though. I sit on the restroom floor and let my head fall in my hands. My sleeves to my white long-sleeve shirt are now covered in eyeliner, mascara and tears.

I call my mom and I have her come pick me up from school. I lie in bed for the rest of the night and watch television and occasionally text Kyle in hopes for him to believe me. I fall asleep and wake up an hour later to a text, from Kyle.

New text from: Kyle: “I believe u. I found out he made it all up. I take back breakin up with u Kayla. I will c u 2morrow.”

My frown turns into a smile immediately and I call Kyle. We talk for two hours before I take a shower and go back to bed.

Tuesday at school I meet Kyle at my locker and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I would never cheat on you, Kyle. You need to know that.”

“I am sorry I didn’t believe you, I should have asked bef-” I cut him off before he can finish his sentence when I see Tyler come down the hallway. I look at Tyler, and then look at Kyle and lean in and kiss him. I pull away and smile at Kyle and look back at Tyler.

“If you couldn’t get me the first time, you weren’t going to get me the second time, Tyler.” I say to Tyler. I put my arm around Kyle’s waist, shut my locker and we walk away. After taking three steps I look back at Tyler who is still stuck in his tracks, “You always want what you can’t have.” I smile and continue to my class with my boyfriend, Kyle.





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