November 13, 2009
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It’s a terrifying feeling when someone gives up on you. When you feel them let go of you and leave whatever respect they had for you at the door as they move on to better things. It’s terrifying because you feel the cold of their absence, and the silence they gave you as a parting gift just seems to be laughing at you.

The worst part is that somewhere you know that it’s your fault. You dangled their feelings out in the open for everyone to see, for everyone to judge. Or perhaps you did the opposite, and shut up whatever you were feeling and made sure they never saw it. That never ends well, but that story is for some other time I suppose.
Thing is, you just watched them leave, propping up your sadness with this false sense of happiness that they’ve left.
You watch and you know you caused it. You pushed them to it, and you let them go.

Or did you?

Maybe you fought it, but who has the energy to keep fighting anymore? I know I didn’t have it then, and God knows I don’t have the energy now.

Maybe you’re lucky, maybe you DO or DID have the energy to keep fighting, but after everything that had happened, maybe they got tired. Maybe they didn’t even want it anymore, whatever “it” may have been.


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