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Don't trust me

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I want him to leave. Sure he is my best friend, but him being here makes me want to scream. He is making it harder for me to breathe. What I am feeling for him, it is not right. We are both in a realtionship but we always end up kissing at the end of the day behind their backs. It is unfair. For me. For him. It is also extremely unfair my boyfriend and his girlfriend. If my boyfriend ever found out that everything I told him about how Aiden and I are really just friends that would be another lie.

"Is this bad?" Aiden asked me as we were walking out from our english class from sharing another kiss. I looked back at him.

"Yeah it is pretty bad. But I love it." I smiled at him and he smiled back. When we got outside he started to talk about something else. Then we didn't talked. The cold winter was starting to make its way through our small town. I was snuggled up in my jacket, but I still could feel the cold seep through.

"Do you have lipgloss on?"

"Yeah, I always have lipgloss on. It makes my lips shrimmering."

"It tastes good." I look at him. I really want to kiss him again.

"Aiden, "

"Hummm?"

"I hate this. I want so much more." I wanted to tell him that he is a guy that I can't have, no matter how close he is. He will always be out of reach. We hugged and said our byes until we get to see each other tomorrow. I watched him walk away to catch up with his girlfriend. Aiden Touches her on her back and leaned down to kiss her. Honestly, I'm not jealous.

I hate myself. I just want to curl up under my blankets and forget about everything. I wish that he never moved here. I wish that I never talked to him. He wrote me during class one time after we got done of what we should do about us and he wrote me saying that he doesn't want to ruin my life. Chances are that he already had.

I walk into my next class. I made myself to stop thinking about him.



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babigerl1194 said...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 11:26 am
couldnt agree more!
 
bamboom212 said...
Mar. 6, 2010 at 1:56 pm
aw its sad:( it kept me reading from the beginning, though. write more;]
 
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