October 20, 2009

Over all today was FANTASTIC! Five o’clock a.m. Mission; sleep on owner’s pillow. I silently crept into my owner’s room leaped on his bed and plopped myself write next to his head. Eventually he moved his head off the pillow and I slept like a king. Mission: success.
Six o’clock a.m. Mission; annoy my owner until he turns on the sink for me to drink out of. I walked up to him innocently and performed the most adorable meow a cat can do. No actions toward the sink. I jumped on the counter next to the sink and let out an eerie meow demanding my owner to turn on the sink. Mission: success.
Seven o’clock a.m. Mission; eat! My other owner a.k.a. food lady finally finished her breakfast and made her way to my can of sweet liver. She poured the contents into my bowl and I licked it up in two minutes—record time— then realized that I was done and hopped out of the kitchen to start my daily adventures. Mission: success.
Seven thirty-two a.m. Mission; get outside at all costs. I leaped down the stairs and bounded to the backdoor. Time to commence plan A. MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! She finally released me to the great vast land known as the outside. Mission: success.
Eight o’clock a.m. Mission; obtain food. I went to the neighbor’s yard and relieved myself of that succulent liver. It was time to refill that emptiness in my stomach with a nice plump robin. I surveyed the area a top the fence and spotted a blue jay. It will have to do. I jumped down the fence and crouched in the grass until the blue jay landed in the yard as it touched down on the grass I slowly stalked it. I then was a foot away until the stupid bell my owners put on me jingled and the bird was about to take off until I pounced upon it and swiftly decapitated it. Mission: success.
Twelve o’clock p.m. Mission; get more food. The blue jay was not enough for me so to quench this need I again looked for a bird. A plump robin landed on the grass near the execution of the blue jay. I did my prey routine and just before I pounced the robin took off and called to others. All of a sudden robins came out of nowhere and took immediate action. Robins started dive bombing me the one who kills them. I kept swatting at them but they were to fast. I decided to show how good of a killer I was and spotted a squirrel and ran at it. IT GOT AWAY! Now the robins continued to dive bomb me and the squirrels were barking at me. Mission: failure.
Two o’clock p.m. Mission; find something to eat. I didn’t try hunting again because, of what happened earlier. I couldn’t ignore my hunger so I went to a lush lawn and munched on some grass and plants. Mission: success and failure for not getting real food.
Two thirty o’clock p.m. Mission; get in the house when my owner gets home. My owner got home and let me in. Wow that was easy. Mission: success.
When we were both in the house he saw my great desire for food so he grabbed some American Sliced CHEESE. Oh Yah. My luck paid off the cold soft cheese shot me to heaven. Maybe if I am lucky enough I will get some ice cream tonight. Mission: success.

Three thirty o’clock p.m. Mission; get my owner to play with me after he gets done writing on paper and putting it into his bag. My owner finally put that paper away and I made my move. I picked up my favorite toy, a hair tie. I dropped the stretchy loop in front of him and did a pleading meow. It worked. He picked it up and put it on his opposable thumb and pulled it back and it launched across the room as soon as he let go. I chased it as fast as my little paws could carry me. He kept doing that for like five minutes. Mission: success.
Four o’clock p.m. Mission; find a place to sleep. All the excitement today pooped me out so I went to find a spot to have a cat nap. So I went to my owners room jumped on his bed and fell fast asleep. Mission: success.
Seven o’clock p.m. Mission; eat dinner. After my nap I went outside and emptied my system and came back in for dinner. I went upstairs to the kitchen and they read my mind dinner was already in my bowl. Yes, chicken gravy! I got my fill and went back downstairs. Mission: success.
Ten o’clock p.m. Mission; go to sleep. I went to the basement where there was comfy mats to sleep on. I walked on one and curled into a ball and fell asleep. Mission: success.
Today was almost the perfect day. Except for the incident with the birds and squirrels. Besides that I wish every day could be like this wait it is. So I am glad that every day is like this. For all you other cats out there I know you wish you were me. I can’t wait until tomorrow so I can repeat this day.


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