A trial. A trial of the mind, of the heart, of yourself. That's what you're going through.

Your brain yells out to you,

“Do something! You're meant for more then this!”

Then you know you were meant for something more. But what? Is there a way to know? You reach out grasping for something, a deeper meaning to life, a reason to exist, but you find none. You find none, and then you spiral into a depression. You call this depression an important part of your life, you justify it as something that may change you.

Is it?

Of course not.

It is, as many things are, all in your head. It's an obstacle. It's trying to get you closer to what it is you're meant for. What are you meant for? To be the first to realize that everything is in your mind.