I ran so hard to catch up to the memory of you. I ran imagining you were at the bottom of the hill and I was an actress. I pretended to have a long, rippled dress with a ribbon around my waist. I imagined my snow white hair mixing with my white dress. If I could see myself, I imagined my dress would be like wings and my running steps would soon make me fly. I ran down the field filled with wheat until I reached the bottom where you were, but as I jumped into your arms you disappeared as the wind taking away sand. I fell to the ground because you weren’t there to pick me up. I laid there thinking of you and what hurt the most was that you never gave me an honest opinion on what you thought of me but the everything else you said was the truth. You were my greatest influence and my raiser, my morals. When you were by me, my self-esteem was high, my thoughts were deep, and I was unique. You taught me my religion and showed me things I would never get to see. I wondered why do bad things happen to the good people? The misery you caused me made me cry. The tears kept coming because I was in reality now. The pain shot me in my heart like being hit by a bullet. You were my world but when you were sent away I couldn’t find a trace of me. Who am I? Why am I here? Here I was surrounded by evil and hatred. I didn’t know how to handle it so I got up and began to run until I could catch the memory of you. The joy of you stays here inside of me until I meet you. I might change and you might change but forever our hearts together connecting us over an ocean. I miss you.
October 13, 2009