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The Deadly Stream

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The fast flowing current of this deep stream was a sad reminder of such a terrible accident that changed my life forever.
Three years ago my daughter Jessica was playing by this very same stream, she was two years old, trying to skip rocks as I had showed her so many times before. She put a great effort into a throw that caused her to lose her balance and on the slippery edge of a large bolder. She screamed and fell into the stream; I spun around and saw my darling, sweet hearted, baby being pushed under the currents of such a life sucking stream of water. I chased her down the river, to a pool of water that sucked her to the bottom of the whirl pool. Jessica struggled but was running out of energy and became limp. Her body was spit out of the turning water and was shoved to the edge of the pool. I ran to her and grabbed her I checked for a heart beat but nothing, I gave her mouth to mouth, she didn’t move.
She was gone.




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suckerpunch234 said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 6:53 pm:
That was amazing...sad and depressing but still a great peice.  I was wandering if you had this much talent that you would have a talent at critiqing my stories?
 
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Blue4 said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm:

Very good, so sad. The only suggestion is to put in more detail and description.

By the way, would you please read some of my work, rate, and critisize? I'd appreciate it.

 
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Renee L. said...
Oct. 20, 2009 at 10:31 pm:
it was good. Very sad but it was good you could have put some more details about Jessica but it was good.
 
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AshlanB said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 2:17 am:
Uhm... Disturbing? But, at least little Jessica is in heaven skipping all the big rocks she can handle. :)
 
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