Final Cut

September 23, 2009
By , westminster, CA
Why can'y she end it all? Why does she have to hold back? What is stopping her? Is it that she can't do the unspeakable deed because the realization that there is still something more in life than dying?

Everything was quiet, no sound, just the heavy breathing coming from Trinity. She then went to her closet, opened a cardboard box and took out her dad's old swiss army knife. She held the knife carefully making sure that its not too tight or too loose. She placed the cold steel blade against the flesh of her skin. The rush of warm blood filled the air. Trinity questioned herself, when did it all come down to this? Why did she have to cut herself? Why can't she be normal and hang out with friends after school instead of being a cutter? When did cutting become her life?

It was never like this before, she used to be normal. She would hang out with friends, go to the mall, have friends over, and do what any normal fourteen year old girl would do. Everything changed on August 23, 2007 that exact date etched in her brain, every detail of that day was clear as water. That day was a warm day, the leaves were starting to turn a dark brown and dieing, it was the last week of summer before school. Trinity's parents drove and old 95' red Taurus and was on their way to pick up Trinity from her friend's house. That was the biggest mistake of thier lives. It could be just bad luck or the wrong time and place, but everyone has to die one time or another, it was thier time. Driving north bound on the 5 freeway her parents was hit from behind by a drunken driver. The accident was one-hundred percent fatal. Everyone invovled in that accident died, a total of 5 died.

Her life has changed.Trinity now in her second year of the foster care system, bouncing from one caretaker to another. Unable to call any of those places as homes only a temporary housing facility. Unable to call the people who cared for her mom or dad only Mr. and Mrs. In these two years she became withdrawn from the outside world. All her friends left her she was left a loner to fend herself in the world. Unable to find any new friends, Trinity wanted to end it all. She had nothing to live for anymore. Cutting was the only way she could release all that pain she held inside to get rid of her past, present, and inevitably her future.

Her pain that resinated from all fourteen years of her life pervented her from smiling, from socialiazing, from making any human contact. She faced the fact that trying to rebuild her life was border line impossibility.Her scars become a way of tracking her attempts of ending it all. Each time unsuccessful, yet she unhappy of that fact. But now its different, it was the end after all.........

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Zero_K This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 6, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Great writing, but I noticed a few mistakes. Like fredenbergs said, Can't was spelled wrong and you should place commas in a few places; but I also noticed a problem with verb tenses: A few times you put was when you should have put were. You have potential, keep writing!
-Blessed Be!
fredenbergs said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 6:07 am
While i was reading this passage, i noticed some spelling mistakes, you spelled "can'y" instead of cant. Also, in many places of the passage, there were no cammas placed where they were supposed to.
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