Crash Memories

September 23, 2009
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The last thing I remember is flashing headlights. After that, it was darkness. Deep black all around me, enclosing. Then, it was light.

“MaryAnna, if you can hear me, open your eyes.” An unrecognizable voice said. “Come on; just open your eyes. You remember how. Or you should...” Open my eyes? How? I forgot everything. “Blink. Open. Do something!” It screamed. I also heard a crack in its voice. I pushed. It took all of my strength just to open my eyes a fraction.

It was a room. It smelled antiseptic-y. I remember that I hated that smell. Especially when my mom used that stuff on me... Where is this? There was a beeping thing and tubes all around me. There was somebody next to me in a white coat. Is it a doctor? You know the one that diagnoses people with stuff? I really shouldn’t know this stuff. I am nearly eleven and a half years old.

“MaryAnna Alexis Mayfield. That is your name. Can you say that? Mary-Anna-Uh-Lexis-May-Field.” The person in the white coat said.

Of course I can say that. But, how do I move my lips? I tried to say my name, but of course, I failed. “Aaaaahhhmmmm,” Came out instead. I tried again. “Maaryy.... Aaaannnnnnnaaaaa..... Uhlecksis... Maaayyyffeeeeelduh.” It slurred, but sounded right. I think.

The white coated man eyed me. “That is pretty good.” He stopped for a moment, then began again. “Anna, you were in a serious accident. You were struck by a truck, along with your family. Your mother is fine, so is your dad. But your sister is...” He trailed off. “Dead.” Into his eyes, a dark wave flooded over the light blue making his eyes as black as night. My only sibling Payton was dead? As I took in the news he stepped out of the room. Tears budded in my eyes but I held the liquid in. The salt burned in my eyes, so I let them spill over at the brims.

While I was crying my heart out the doctor stepped back in the room. I tried to see his face but my eyes were blurry. “MaryAnna, I know you are in pain, but I need you to tell me exactly what happened one week ago.” One week? Have I been in the darkness that long? Think, think, uggh. How can I think? My sister just died. I thought, but all I could remember was the darkness...and the headlights.

“Um...I-I....saw...th...the....head...headlights”, my voice was dry and raspy. Then the flashbacks came into my mind. Payton and I were in the car singing “Anything Goes” from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. My parents were talking about politics, I had no idea what that meant. The memory disappeared.

“Did you think of anything?”, the doctor asked. I really did think of something, but it had nothing to do with the accident. I thought of something else, and another memory came. My family and I were driving down Route 112 because we were going to Long Island for vacation. I had a huge migraine and it was just getting worse. I knew it was going to be a long time before we got to the Bay anyway. Darkness stopped the memory. My own blindness enclosed my thoughts, I can’t see.

I screeched and started clawing at my face. Sharp pains were sent to my cheeks. I felt liquid dripping on my hands; terrific! I was bleeding. I felt it soaking through the hospital gown. Soft pads were used to clean me up, then they used the peroxide. That hurt like hell. Bandages came last, man it stinks not being able to see: but I’ll use my other sense better, like Iggy from the book Maximum Ride. Only listening, not seeing. I can listen to audio books or read brail. I would be okay without any vision. I heard soft footsteps walking out of the room. This would take a while to get used to...

I woke up. My dream was so elaborate. Bright colors and I was with Payton. Even though it was only a day, I missed her so much. There were whispers coming from the front of my bed. I can tell where they came from. I listen in closer, “MaryAnna only has hours left! What are we going to do? Let her die?!” I think they notice me crying because they abruptly stop talking. I heard footsteps moving closer, closer. “MaryAnna, I am Dr. House...I need you to tell me your memories from the accident.” Memories. This might take a while.

I thought back to over a week ago, “Flashing headlights, screaming, blood and cars...I remember hitting my head on the back of my Dad’s seat knocking me unconscious. After that...black and darkness” I said. Wow! I can’t believe I managed to get all that out clearly. “But how are my parents?”

This took him a while; was it a bad answer that was going to come up? Are they going to die? “They- I mean, your parents are...stable. They’ll be out in a few weeks like you, maybe. Also I am afraid to tell you this; you have amnesia, a memory loss disease. We are going to give you pills to help you remember,” he explained. “There is also a very high chance that you may have- he gulped- brain cancer...I’m sorry.” He took slow steps out of my door. Brain cancer? Can my life get any worse? Death would be better than this. And I pulled the plug with my barely functional hand.

A lot better...I thought about it; and my dear life slipped away through my fingers.





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

DeadInside said...
Jan. 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm
wow, this writing got a lot of emotion going through it.
 
dancer4jesus said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 9:50 pm
wow, that is depressing! an eleven year old with the sense of taking her own life... how sad she had to go through that!
 
AlphaWriter replied...
Oct. 21, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Thanks! I know the story was very depressing.... It was something I had done for English class and my friend wrote something that had made my evil teacher cry. Thanks for the comment!
 
H3LL0K1TTY=] said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 8:29 pm
heyyy awsome story
 
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