Learning to Breath

September 18, 2009
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I started to shake uncontrollably. The blade in my hand shook too as I held it over my arm. Slowly, I lowered it until I felt the cool steel on my skin. Tears began to fall freely down my face making it difficult to see. I tried to gain control of my fingers, to steady them. I began to apply pressure. Softly first and then more strongly with each passing second. I watched transfixed as the knife penetrated my skin and blood began to drip out. Suddenly I lost it. Something in me snapped. My entire body shook as I willed my fingers to drop the blade. I didn’t hear it as it clattered to the ground. I was too busy watching the blood that had begun to trickle down my arm, slow as molasses. Clearly I hadn’t cut deep enough. I lost track of how long I sat there, watching the blood through my tears. I sat with my arms wrapped around me shaking uncontrollably. I knew then that I lost it. I needed serious help. I didn’t want to be doing this to myself. It was like a horrible demon had invaded my body and taken control of my mind. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I hated myself for this. I was a coward. This only made me cry harder. I looked in the mirror. The face looking back at me was that of a monster. I didn’t recognize myself. I sank back to the floor.
I don’t know how long I sat there. I couldn’t bring myself to get up.

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

Amanda700 said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 8:34 pm
wow! that was truly amazing! what made you write something like that? its like you really understand where hes coming from!! AMAZING!!!!
Megan Anne S. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Wow. Very good. Powerful. Made me remember my history with this subject.
tor10jax said...
Sept. 26, 2009 at 9:34 pm
This was really well written. Could you go farther with this?
futurprez replied...
Oct. 3, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I'm in middle o writing a novel but I take breaks from it once in a while. On none such occasion I came up with this and it may just go into the book...
tor10jax replied...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Yay! Let me know how it goes. :D
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