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Learning to Breath

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I started to shake uncontrollably. The blade in my hand shook too as I held it over my arm. Slowly, I lowered it until I felt the cool steel on my skin. Tears began to fall freely down my face making it difficult to see. I tried to gain control of my fingers, to steady them. I began to apply pressure. Softly first and then more strongly with each passing second. I watched transfixed as the knife penetrated my skin and blood began to drip out. Suddenly I lost it. Something in me snapped. My entire body shook as I willed my fingers to drop the blade. I didn’t hear it as it clattered to the ground. I was too busy watching the blood that had begun to trickle down my arm, slow as molasses. Clearly I hadn’t cut deep enough. I lost track of how long I sat there, watching the blood through my tears. I sat with my arms wrapped around me shaking uncontrollably. I knew then that I lost it. I needed serious help. I didn’t want to be doing this to myself. It was like a horrible demon had invaded my body and taken control of my mind. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I hated myself for this. I was a coward. This only made me cry harder. I looked in the mirror. The face looking back at me was that of a monster. I didn’t recognize myself. I sank back to the floor.
I don’t know how long I sat there. I couldn’t bring myself to get up.



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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

Amanda700 said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 8:34 pm:
wow! that was truly amazing! what made you write something like that? its like you really understand where hes coming from!! AMAZING!!!!
 
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Megan Anne S. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm:
Wow. Very good. Powerful. Made me remember my history with this subject.
 
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tor10jax said...
Sept. 26, 2009 at 9:34 pm:
This was really well written. Could you go farther with this?
 
futurprez replied...
Oct. 3, 2009 at 2:01 pm :
I'm in middle o writing a novel but I take breaks from it once in a while. On none such occasion I came up with this and it may just go into the book...
 
tor10jax replied...
Oct. 4, 2009 at 6:44 pm :
Yay! Let me know how it goes. :D
 
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