The first strike was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on her: Surprising, shocking, and scary to her very core. After the first strike nothing was the same. His kisses were fire burning her cheeks, his hands a death grip on her wrists. No one saw it though. No one saw the bruises he left on her arms, neck and back. It was winter… no one questioned her long sleeves or turtlenecks. Come summer and she would have something new to deal with but for now there were no questions. No whispers behind her back, and no disapproving looks from anyone besides him. Her own personal devil who walks the earth beside her.

She talks to no one. Her old friends have since given up hope of her ever returning to who she used to be. She refuses to see how much she has changed but in her mind she knows. None of them know that the change was against her will though. No one understands that without the change things would be so much worse for her. When she talks to her old friends, especially the guys, he gets angry. Then everything happens all over again. The first icy blow, then a few more, followed by burning kisses and false apologies.

Every minute she tries not to anger him. Believing it be her fault- if she wasn’t such a mess up things could be different. If she didn’t make him mad he would not have reason to strike her. So she follows him around like a lost puppy. Clinging to his arm and bypassing her old friends to look at her sadly each time she passes them. They wouldn’t understand, she tells herself. They wouldn’t get why she has to avoid them and block their calls.

After a few months they stopped calling. They stopped showing up at her door hoping that one day he wouldn’t be there; hoping that one day she would see who he really was and make him leave, go out with her real friends and be who they know she is. If only they knew she thinks to herself before mentally beating herself up. You cannot think like that! If he knew you would be angry. Remember he is doing this for you- he loves you! That was it. She was in way too deep with no way out. She was drowning and no one could see because he drove them away. The only one left to help her was the one holding her under.