Getting Worse?

August 21, 2009
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"Leaving"

I was sitting there on my bed, in my room (on the first floor) crying my eyes out. She left. I knew it would happen eventually but I never really thought about it.
My mother was always….spontaneous, so living in a small town was never for her. My dad would always say to her that staying here would be better for me her ‘precious’ daughter. But she never felt that way, she would leave then come back sometimes, and she didn’t care about me or my dad or anything. All she cared about was herself, and so she left. For good this time.

I picked up my phone, and dialed the familiar number. He answered on the third ring.

"Shawna it’s two in the morning why are you calling me?" he was tired and grumpy, but I had to talk to someone.

"Caleb," I sobbed into the phone, couldn’t push myself to say anymore than that.

"Shawna? Are you crying?" Now he was worried. "Yes," I breathed out

"What happened?" I couldn’t figure out what to say so I wouldn’t start hysterics.

"She left," That’s when the hysterics started. "And I don’t think she’s coming back this time."

“Meet me in your back yard I will be there in ten minutes." The phone went dead. I got up put on my shoes -still dressed in my clothes from today day- and grabbed the blanket from my bed. I opened the window and jumped out, then ran to the back of the house as fast as I could so my dad wouldn’t notice.

When I got to the yard I sat on one of the lawn chairs that my mom had just put there one week ago, and started sobbing. Even the most unrelated things made me cry.

Not too long after I heard footsteps coming from the woods behind my house. I knew it was Caleb. He came in front of me and knelt down. I felt his warm hand on my chin pulling my face up. It wasn’t until then that I realized was cold so I shivered. Caleb took the blanket that was lying on the other lawn chair and wrapped it around me. He then picked me up from the seat sat down and put me on his lap.

"Shawna, do you want to talk about it?" I know he was concerned but now wasn’t a good time to talk.

"Maybe later." I said silent tears running down my cheeks. As we sat there he pulled out his ipod and put on the classical music that I always listened too when I couldn’t fall asleep- Ludovico Einaudi. With that I fell asleep, sitting next to my best friend.

That night was the worst ever. I remembered what happened when my mom left.

"Michael! Michael! Get down here." My mom was ‘calling’ my dad downstairs. I was sitting in the next room doing my homework, and listening.

"Sarah what is it?" My dad said coming down the stairs. "I’m trying to work!"

"Oh isn’t that nice. You were working." My mom yelled. "I can’t do this anymore! I’m leaving, and I’m taking Shawna with me!" I froze. Every other time that she had said she was leaving she never said she was going to take me with her. This time I don’t think she’s coming back.

“You’re not leaving again! And you are definitely not taking Shawna anywhere!" My dad spat at her .

“We’ll see about that!" She spat back...

That’s when she came into the room I was in and grabbed my arm. Then dragged me to the kitchen where my dad was still standing.

"She’s coming with me!" She yelled "tell him!" She said in my face, and pushed me forward. I couldn’t speak, that’s when the tears started. I didn’t want to go with her, but I didn’t want to go another day without seeing her. But I had to decide stay here with my dad, or go with my mom and never know what’s going to happen next. I chose to stay with my dad. Instead of going up to him and telling him what I was going to leave with her. I ran up to him and stood behind his back.

“So that’s your decision is it?" My mother whispered. Her eyes became cold and dark. "You’ll regret that. Do you know what’s going to happen to your father while I’m gone," She paused, and I tried as hard as I could to understand what she was saying but I couldn’t. "I guess not then." She whispered. She walked towards the door and I followed tears still falling down my cheeks. I hadn’t noticed she had a stuffed bag over her shoulders.

She opened the door, and then stepped in front of me. Her eyes still cold, and black. and whispered "I‘m going to come back for you. Watch." then said. "Have a nice life" loud enough so my dad could hear. He was standing not far behind us.

With that Sarah West walked out on her family.

After she walked out the door I ran to my room, to look out the window. There she was getting in the car and drive out onto the road, giving a quick glance at me through the window. And she had the nerve to wave at me, but I just looked down and walk to my bed letting my sorrow take me.

After that dream I started to remember the better things good things, like my friends: Kaylie, Jared, Melanie (Caleb‘s sister), her boyfriend Tristan and of course my best friend Caleb.

We all met in kindergarten (we were all 5/6). So we’ve been friends for about 10 years. Caleb and I are practically brother, and sister. We do everything together like going to the movies, going to the mall when Melanie forces too, study together, and of course we go to the same school. This night reminded me that no matter what Caleb will always be there to help me out. I can tell him anything and he won’t judge, unlike some of my other friends. If I told Melanie something she sometimes overreacts, if I tell Kaylie something she sometimes takes it too seriously. Jared is the worst of them all because he takes everything like a joke, or gets overprotective. Now Tristan I can tell something’s to because he calms me down with his laid back attitude but him acting like that gets annoying at sometimes. That’s why I tell most everything to Caleb. He’s my best friend.



I woke up in the morning and I was still sitting next to Caleb on the lawn chair his head laying on top of mine, still sleeping. It was still dark but I could see the sun on the horizon. I took my phone out of my pocket and turned it on to see what time it was. On my phone it said 5:30. Then it vibrated letting me know I had 2 messages from my mom, 1 from my dad, and three text messages from Melanie. I opened Melanie’s txt first.
Shawna wat hpnd? I heard Caleb talking to u erly this morning! Then he was gone!!!! Watz goin on?!?!?!?!
~<3 Mel :
The two other messages were the same. Next I deleted the two messages from my mom. I already knew what they said ‘Please baby come with me’ ‘ You know I still love you’
‘I’ll never be too far if you need me’. But no I’m sorry! No, I regret what did, because she doesn’t. She doesn’t care how much I hate her for doing this, and she will never get to see me or hear my voice again because of what she did.

Now there was the fact that my dad left me a message. Why would he call my cell phone if I was in the house -well if he thought I was in the house-. This message I listened to.

Shawny, Shawny , what are youUuUuU doing. I can hear you crying , but you won’t answer meeeeeeee. Don’t cry Shawny , we’re better off without her. Don’t worrRrRryyyyy.

He was drunk. I knew this would happen. It happened every time my mom left, but stopped when she came back. I wondered what would happen now since she’s not coming back. I sat back in the position I was in when I woke up and went back





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