I Kissed the Boy Who Hit Me MAG

May 19, 2009
By BreeLynne27 GOLD, Carmel, Indiana
BreeLynne27 GOLD, Carmel, Indiana
15 articles 0 photos 13 comments

I really didn't see it coming. His hand, angry and rough and quick as lightning, connected with my jaw as he smacked me across the face. Hard. My neck snapped to the side, my chin pointed downward, and that's where I stayed for at least a full minute. I was afraid to move, afraid to breathe.

Oh, my God. I'm dreaming. Please tell me this isn't real.

Hot tears clung to my lashes, but I refused to let myself cry. I focused on the burning sensation in my cheek, too afraid to shift in my seat. My face was on fire.

I swallowed hard, watching the scenery as it passed: the green grass and the yellow sun, the black blurring of mailboxes and rooftops. Except for the steady hum of the air conditioner, there was dead silence.

I tried to focus on anything, anything but the boy next to me, breathing heavily. Anything except the car speeding up as he stepped on the accelerator, driving more recklessly with every dip and curve in the road.

See the sidewalks, a steady stream of white concrete against the jet black road. See the treetops, so severely contrasting the painted cerulean sky. See the fire hydrant, bright like the stars that shine above the lake at night. See–

“This isn't my fault, Caitlin,” he said quietly. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye. His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white.

“What?” I was surprised to find that my voice was soft and steady, though my hands were shaking and twisting in my lap.

“You left me waiting there for an hour. What was I supposed to think?”

“It was an honest mistake,” I whispered, so quietly that I could barely hear myself. “I lost track of time.”

He glanced at me, his jaw clenched so hard I thought he might shatter his teeth. “Yeah, sure.”

I hesitated, not knowing what he wanted me to do. I opened my mouth, and I watched his hands, and I made sure they didn't come anywhere near me. “I'm telling the truth,” I said finally, quietly. “I was doing exactly what I told you I'd be doing … working on my story for the paper.”

“Of course you were.”

“Why don't you trust me?”

“Who was that guy you were with?”

I sighed, knowing I could never win. My cheek hurt so much, worse than when I fell of my bike and skinned my elbows and knees. It hurt worse than the time I cut my hand on a fence and needed six stitches, or the time I fell on a flower pot and sliced my knee open. It hurt because he made me hurt. It hurt because he wanted me to hurt.

“I … I just–”

“Spit it out, Caitlin!”

I fell back against the seat, feeling more defeated than I'd ever felt in my life. It was like reaching the top step just to find more stairs. It would have been easier to think, I'm sure, if my face didn't have a heartbeat.

“Why are you being so mean to me?” It just slipped out, and Aaron looked bewildered. He didn't answer right away, or even as we pulled into my neighborhood. By the time he'd parked in my driveway, we were both completely silent.

“I'm sorry, Cait,” he said. “That was really stupid; I don't know what came over me.”

I let my eyes meet his for the first time that afternoon. “I don't either.”

He shut the car off and twisted in his seat to face me. His hand slid over my forehead, and down through my hair, and finally settled around my neck. He pulled me toward him, gently, and kissed the cheek that still ached. Now it ached with yearning.

It's strange, I suppose, how someone can treat you so wrong and you can still want him so much. I wanted to feel his lips on me again, brushing away the hurt and the pain. I wanted his touch. The school parking lot suddenly felt a million years away.

“That will never happen again,” he assured me, kissing me softly. “I swear I will never do that again.”

And I believed him.


The author's comments:
Please comment. Good and bad critiques are welcome. Thanks!!

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This article has 181 comments.


rosierose said...
on Apr. 30 2011 at 9:52 am
I'm almost positive the first part of this story is from a Sarah Dessen book...but after a while it was less similar. It was good, except for the plagorism :)

on Apr. 30 2011 at 12:58 am
cali_writer2011 BRONZE, My City, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If life's a book, my heart's the pen."

i loved it! your a good writer...keep writing! if you want check out my story and send me some feedback thanks:)

on Apr. 21 2011 at 3:06 pm
liveincolor GOLD, Gainesville, Florida
17 articles 3 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
You need to be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Ghandi

I love it! It feels so real, it's like the words you used conrasted perfectly to the situation you were describing. Keep writing!

on Apr. 16 2011 at 11:23 pm
FatesMistake13, Springerville, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes." Oscar Wilde

"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."

though, like some others, i did think of Dreamland when i read this i liked it. i really liked the end when you said that you believed him. i got the feeling that he was lying without you spelling it out.

on Apr. 8 2011 at 9:28 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

I think so...even if they aren't, hopefully anyone would have a good enough conscience not to steal someone else's story! (:

Debbie1 SILVER said...
on Apr. 8 2011 at 8:03 pm
Debbie1 SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
6 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As long as there is life, there is hope."

Wow! this was really great!. It was really discriptive and beautiful! Oustanding

Um...if u post ur articles on teenink, are they like safe? As in copyrite or something so they cant be stolen?


on Apr. 8 2011 at 4:26 pm
writerchick2095 BRONZE, Lincolnton, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Why do you try so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out?'
'Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.'

Wow, this is so emotional. I really loved it. Even though this story is so sad, you wrote it very well. I'm impressed :)

on Apr. 8 2011 at 3:44 pm
alicain4 BRONZE, Mahopac, New York
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is realllly good. I really like the descriptive aspect of it and how you made the reader feel everything the character was feeling. well done!

Lillie GOLD said...
on Apr. 8 2011 at 9:34 am
Lillie GOLD, Omaha, Nebraska
16 articles 24 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My gelding was sold to me as a gentlemen. He is. Whenever we go over a fence, he insists on ladies first."
-Unknown

Fantastic, you captured the hurt, love and confusion that weaves domestic violence stories.  Well written.

on Mar. 31 2011 at 10:14 pm
Morganjean BRONZE, Monroe, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain!

Wow. This was very well written. I liked how personal you made it. I felt as though you were telling a first-hand story. Great job.

on Mar. 19 2011 at 5:15 pm
babygirl96 SILVER, Sulphur Springs, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't ever keep looking on the past. Always look to the future. Don't forget what the past taught you,
but always use it in the future.=)

i just really loved this piece. it was very heart touching and it makes me to keep wanting to read more of it if onluy there was more to read=)

keep up the awesome work]=)


Megan.J.B said...
on Mar. 17 2011 at 7:51 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

I feel a little cheated when I read this because it is insanely close (as already pointed out) to Dreamland as well as another novel I have read on abuse. They say that people often take a lot from books they read in the means of inspiration, but make sure your stories are different enough. For me, it was just too similar.

on Feb. 22 2011 at 1:25 am
BreeLynne27 GOLD, Carmel, Indiana
15 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Before I wrote this article I had been reading up on dating violence and three fiction books on the topic that I found were Things Change, The Breakable Vow, and Breathing Underwater. I found it interesting that all three books contained powerful fight scenes taking place in the boy's car, and those scenes stayed with me for a long time, so I decided to challenge myself to write my own car scene. As for the name Caitlin, I actually took it from Breathing Underwater, because I felt that there was something both fragile and very strong about the name.

I have talked to girls who have been abused and most times the abuse was the direct result of jealousy and trust issues, so I put that into the article. They also said that the boy would try to put the blame on them, never taking responsibility. That's why I added the line, "This isn't my fault."

That being said, I did end up reading Dreamland, and I can definitely see the similarities that you and a few others pointed out. I definitely wasn't hoping to lack originality, and I hope you will check out my other articles and see that they are not interpretations of other stories.

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. Please read part two if you have time!


LinaTroli GOLD said...
on Jan. 10 2011 at 5:43 pm
LinaTroli GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 9 photos 6 comments

I agree, when I read that, I though of Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. The part where Rogerson hit Caitlin because she was late, and with another guy, from working on a project, and the part where he said that it was not his fault in those same words were too similar to that novel. Therefore, it lacked originality. Next time, you should check if somebody had already written a story like that.

 

keep up the good work, though!


on Jan. 10 2011 at 9:17 am
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

Its an excellent work that is really detailed and yet short to read. I loved it

J.C.Evans GOLD said...
on Dec. 30 2010 at 11:29 pm
J.C.Evans GOLD, Westland, Michigan
14 articles 50 photos 53 comments
If she altered the end of the story it wouldn't be realistic...have you ever seen a battered woman fight back the first time...she's in shock...and truly believes it will neveer happen again...I would know

SashaJox GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2010 at 5:07 pm
SashaJox GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
‘Life has no smooth road for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfils itself.'

This is such a captivating article. It is amazing! You have paid so much attention to detail and when I read it, it felt as though I could feel the pain myself! 

on Dec. 19 2010 at 8:06 am
kelliejo19 GOLD, Cannon Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 7 photos 48 comments
I agree. It's really good tho!!! Check out my stories Annie, Ominescent, and Three Little words in the romance section? Thanks.

gargar SILVER said...
on Nov. 27 2010 at 6:13 pm
gargar SILVER, .., New Jersey
8 articles 9 photos 11 comments
this is really good! check mine out?

on Nov. 27 2010 at 2:44 pm
KaylynVictoria SILVER, Breaux Bridge, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
Always keep your head up so you never have an excuse to look down at yourself(:

Awesomenesssss!


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