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Afraid of the Dark
Many thought of me as brave and fearless. I was different, not brave. All I have done my life was run away from being cowardly. Though, as one might guess, not being able to see what you fear might help you face it. My fear is the dark… which might be surprising seeing as how I am blind but there are many different darks.
I grew up always asking the same question ‘describe it.’ When I heard the ooo’s and ahh’s on the Fourth of July I was envious to those who could see. They all described the fire works as well as they could but my mother’s description always was best. “Imagine the smell of my cherry pies taking on a solid form mixing with the excitement on the eve of all your favorite holidays and the sound of your Dad car pulling into the drive arriving home from the long day of work.” She would say, “now imagine them changing form swirling and colliding, all fighting for the chance to shine in the center of the parade of swirls.” What I imagined I always guessed to be better then the actual object. On this day I was finally set free to imagine on my own.
“Watch out for you younger sister, Chloe, be sure to keep four eyes on her to make up for her loss of two.” My mother joked. I smiled, she was always so light hearted and ready to make a joke. “Evie” said Chloe’s voice “ keep your hand on mine so that you don’t get lost.”
Those were the last words I would here my sister say, though I didn’t know it yet. I felt around in amazement, touching everything I imagined the most astounding effects. I explored in silence one hand held firmly in my sister. Then there was a strong wind brushing around me playfully, I turned toward it to embrace it, the turn was so shard it ripped my hand from my sisters, I was not worried I knew she was right there. As the wind died down I turned in the general direction if my sister.
“Follow me” I said to her.
There was no response, but I guessed she was still right there keeping the silence. I was quiet as well. And started walking deeper into the forest, I began to tire after a while and said to my sister,
“Can you lead me home now, please?”
There was no response and no hand in mine.
“Chloe…” I said shakily, “Chloe!!!” I yelled.
This time I didn’t waste my breath. I was left alone in the forest. I was going to die without my sight; I needed to see if I wanted even the slightest chance of survival. I didn’t cry. I didn’t waste tears on something hopeless, and I didn’t fear for my death. Why fear for something that was going to happen anyways. I felt as if a thunder cloud was spread out above my head ready to send a lighting bolt my way. I was glad, but not for death, I was glad that the thunder cloud didn’t spread, that I wasn’t going to take anyone down with me.
As I sat there I began to doze off. I had no dreams, I just slept. This was the dark I was afraid of, the dark where no one was, the dark where even dreams faded into nothingness. The time I woke up, I had no sense if it was day or night but I went on. I knew for one thing I needed food and water. Sniffing the air did no good, you couldn’t smell anything that did not have an aroma or hear food, I was left with only one sense, touch, and it did me no good. Tripping and falling probably made me into a mattered mess, but I didn’t know I looked anyhow. My family always completed me and said that I was beautiful, but that was what family was for. And the thirst, oh the thirst burned my throat to the point that I felt as if I was drowning, and my stomach ached.
I wandered going no where. Time made no sense, I could have wandered for seconds or minutes, days or hours, it made no difference. My heart leaped when I heard a hushed sound of trickling. Heading toward the general direction of the water I stumbled, thirstier with the thought of water near by. The closer I became the louder the sound. Coming down on to my knee’s I felt around like a crawl until my hand dipped into an icy pit of liquid crystal. I drank deeply sparing no close by water. As my thirst dies down I began to concentrate on other things. My hunger has grown widely. I would kill for some food. Reality of my thoughts hit me that just might be what I have to do. Only, I know I wont, I couldn’t take a life to keep mine.
I need to get home. That was the only safe place every where else taunted me, using my weakness against me. Every time I felt close to safety it would be ripped away from me. I had no idea what I was doing, I just kept walking. Life began to have no meaning, I left all hope as I walked away from the water. The next days were torture. I fed off the berries I thought I might have found was I sure they were berries, no, was I sure they were edible, no. Now a sickness had come over me. Was it from the so called berries or the muddy water I did not know, or maybe it was neither the berries or the water but the feeling of lost, I never knew lost was feeling but now I understand. The feeling lost is when you drown in air, when you hear your family cry though they are no where around, when you smell the salt water of tears fallen toward the floor, and when you’ve known since the beginning trying would be hopeless but you know the words your family would yell if you just give up.
A fever keeps me enveloped and my stomach churns. This was it, I thought, this was the end. I fall to my knee’s, but still I don’t cry. I am not sure if I even have tears to shed. Maybe they just disappeared and abandoned me. As I sit there the sound of the wild is turned off. It feels as though time is turned off and only I am there and moving. A sound erupts from the forest and I am not sure if I truly heard it, it sounded as though a young voice cried out for help. I froze listening harder and I hear it again. I stand up as quickly as I can and yell out,
“Keep talking I am coming!”
Then a musical rhythm starts playing that sounds like ‘I’m a Little Tea Pot’ and I follow it. I am feeling around running when BAM, I ran into someone.
Worried I say, “ Hello, are you okay I am so sorry I am blind.”
“It is okay I am just so happy to see a person,” Cries out a little voice.
To little arms then wrap around my waist hugging me tightly. She sounds like a girl and I feel her long hair, but her voice sounds sickly and I wonder if she is ok. Is she healthy? I wonder.
Then aloud I say, “ Are you ok?”
There is no responds she just shivers that is all a simple shiver, and I lift her and tell her to hold on to my back. Now I can’t give up. A life is now intertwined with mine. If I myself give up, another life will be taken with mine. I am going to get out, i know, we are going to survive and I am positive. I am positive because
The thunder cloud has spread and now there are two lighting bolts.