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That Butterfly Feeling
Tap. Tap. Tap Tap. Tap Tap Tap. Taaaaaapppppp.
What the hell is going on out there? I asked myself waking up out of a deep sleep. I was pissed, but before I could even get up to go yell at whoever was making noise outside my bedroom, the intercom rang and my mom’s shrill voice filled the room.
“Wake-y Wake-y Bella Darling, we are having guests for breakfast and you need to look presentable.” I shook my head; she was always having people over for breakfast. Why couldn’t she be like regular parents and have people over for dinner? I sighed and pressed the respond button.
“So who is it this time Ma?” I asked hoping it was someone low-key and not in my age group, or no where near my age group.
“’It’s the Carnegie twins and their parents.” I took my hand off the respond button and screamed. She had to pick the two most annoying little girls in the entire Earth to come to breakfast at our house on a day where I definitely wasn’t feeling that well. The night before I had gotten some interesting text messages from my celeb friend Alexis Hart, telling me about the rumors that were going on about me and my “arch-nemesis” Penelope Stanton.
Supposedly, she’s been telling people that I would back down if she ever approached me. That is a complete lie because I’m the one who went up to her at the Golden Globe Awards after-party. I didn’t even want to be there in the first place, and she was just giving me and Alexis dirty looks. I was soo not in the mood and completely flipped out on her. But of course, like always, my mom didn’t even notice when it happened.
“But mom they’re 10, I’m 16, I’m not going to hang around them all morning.”
“Do it for me Bunny.”
“Fine, but only because I like you.”
“Thank You Darling, well the Carnegie’s are coming at about 8:30 so be in the kitchen by then.” I looked at the clock, 7:50, that’s only forty minutes to get ready and I still have to take a shower.
“Ma I don’t think I’ll have enough time.” I said into the intercom, but she was already gone. Ughhh, I can’t stand it when she does that. I said to myself, but instead of sulking I went into my bathroom and started taking a hot, steamy shower to relax away my troubles. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’m still hearing that crap. I thought to myself getting mad all over again.
Getting out of the shower I walked over to the window but the tapping had stopped. I walked into my room and went to my closet, leafing through my outfits I could not decide on what to wear. I pulled out a dark gray Aero hoodie and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and layed them down on the bed. After moisturizing, I stood up and looked in my mirror. In my undershirt and boy-short underwear, I looked like I was finally getting back to normal, what used to be a stick thin waist was now filling out into hips and some type of a butt. Even my chest was starting to fill out a little more; I’ve been realizing my normal 32 A cup is quickly turning into a 36 B.
I thought back to when I was 14; I was in the hospital for 2 months getting my health up. For two years before that I had been binging and purging my health in a downward spiral, until my body became weak and dehydrated enough that I collapsed right in the middle of the mall with my mom and best friend at my sides. I had always been a chubby child, but it had never really bothered me until I started middle school at 12 and I realized most girls weren’t built like that. I tried work-out plans, diets, nutritionists and nothing worked.
That is until one day I saw a girl on T. V. who had problems with bulimia. I was a smart girl, and I knew the consequences of the eating disorder yet I still found myself eating secretly in a corner while no one was looking. And after 1 and ½ years of doing it I was finally as skinny as the other girls but for me it was too late to stop. After the collapse, I started to realize that I didn’t need to be like the other girls and my mother let me make the recovery process on my own.
It’s been two years since the collapse, and I don’t even need to go to meetings once a week. I even made my own health regimen, with the help of a nutritionist. I love myself and wouldn’t ever do anything like that again. Once a week I even go down to the health building and do talks with girls who have eating disorders and help them over come it. For me it’s not only helping the students but I’m also healing myself at the same time.
I turned from the mirror and started to get dressed. By time I was in the kitchen it was already 8:45 and I knew my mom was going to be angry. So I tried to slip quietly into the dining room without any trouble. I was almost over the threshold when a butler carrying a tray full of something I couldn’t see yet (come on, I’m only 5’4 and the dude was like 6’10) slipped and his tray full of omelets (I guess after they started coming toward me I could see what they were) came flying in the air at me.
“Nooooooooo!’ I screamed stuck right in the way as the ham and cheese filled eggs flew at me at high speed. It was like a scene out of a movie, where everything goes into slow motion and you’re sitting in your seat yelling at the person on screen in the movie to move out of the way because the stuff is definitely going to hit them. But I couldn’t move. And the omelets fell all over me and instead of trying to get into the dining room quietly I made an absolute riot (definitely not the smartest idea).
“Isabella Arianna Melina Wilkins! What in the world just happened?”
“Uhh Nothing Mami. It was just an accident, I ummm-“I tried to explain but she cut me off. She walked over to where I was drenched in egg and stood with her mouth hanging open.
“An accident? Isabella you call ruining a half a dozen ham and cheese omelets an accident. George worked all morning preparing those especially for us. I don’t believe you, not only were you late-“
“It was only 5 minutes.”
“That doesn’t matter, and what did I tell you about cutting me off. Now-.“ She continued but I tuned her out. From that point on all I heard was blah blah blah blah blah from her. This is pretty much what I did for the rest of the breakfast, after cleaning myself up, of course. I was pretty sick of the whole thing until one of the twins leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“Hey, Isabella do you have a boyfriend.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I could hook you up with Josh Spencer if you want.”
“Why would I want that?” she shrugged and showed me her phone, a Blackberry Storm, so I could see the text message displayed.
Are you serious? You’re eating breakfast with Isabella Wilkins. I heard she had a thing for me. But most girls do, maybe you should give her my digits and we could chill sometime.
I scoffed in disbelief; he really thought I wanted to go out with him. I snatched the phone and furiously replied.
You have got to be freakin kidding me. :p There is no way in heaven, hell or whatever sick twisted fantasy you have that I would ever want to go out with you. You chauvinistic piece of crap.
He waited awhile before replying.
Trust me you’ll turn around. They all turn around.
I don’t freaking believe him. Does he think I’m some hoochie who will take what ever I can get? Ughhhhh!
“Who the hell does he think he is?” Wait did I say that part out loud? Of all the things I just said I did not just say that last part out loud.
“Isabella, say goodbye to the Carnegie’s and go to your room.” Yup I said it out loud. Stupid choice. Damn, and I knew that when she started acting like I was a kid that I was in trouble. As I said my goodbyes, one of the twins giggled and then I went straight to my room. A few minutes later she threw open the door and the screaming began.
‘What the hell is your problem?” she screamed. I thought she was pissed before, but now that she was cursing I knew she was super-pissed. My mom isn’t a full out Christian but she definitely wasn’t the cursing type.
“So then why are you cursing in front of my guests?”
“I didn’t want to come anyway.” I said to myself. At least I thought I did, but as soon as I had said it my mom came over to me and grabbed my chin. Hard.
“What did you just say?” Instead of backing down like I knew I should have I pulled my chin free from her hand and yelled back.
“I said I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ANYWAY.” She looked at me shocked.
“I don’t know who the hell you think you’re yelling at. But it sure as hell ain’t me. Now I was going to let you stay home and not do this thing that your agent planned but now you are.” She said apparently satisfied with herself. I on the other hand was just confused.
“A T.V. Spot with Josh Spencer.” My jaw dropped. She knew I hated him yet it seemed like every time she had the chance, she seemed to put us together.
“You gotta be kidding me.” I replied
“No I’m not, you want to act rude at my breakfast and yell at me. Nope you’re definitely going I don’t care.” She said walking to the door, heels clicking as she went. As she was about leave I finally spoke up.
“I’m not going.”
“Excuse me young lady.”
“I said I’m Not Going.”
“Yes you are.” She said coming back over to the bed.
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are.”
“Yes.” She said as she left the room and went back into the living room. With her and me arguing the whole way.
"No" I told her for the tenth time.
"I’m not going to tell you again-." She started again
"No! Ma, look I told you already I'm not going to do that stupid T.V. Spot with Josh T. Freakin' Spencer. I hate him, I know that is an extremely harsh word but all he does is follow me around and show off his stupid money in my face. I don't need him flashing all that crap to me. He's soo freakin full of it."
"Now Isabella, Josh is a very nice boy and you should give him a chance-"
"Chance my butt."
I made a face at her under my bangs, "Now as I was saying, I don't ever ask you for much. But under these circumstances”, she looked at the small piece of omelet still hanging from my hair, “Just do it and it’ll be over before you know it. Like I said his agent already called you're agent and set it up. It's only for a couple of hours."
“I don’t freakin’ believe that you would ever do something like this to me, Ma." I said, and I wasn’t mad anymore, just really sad and upset. I went over to the couch and sulked. Before she left the room she looked over her shoulder at me. She walked over to the couch and sat down.
“Look, sweetie I love you but I have to keep an image.”
“But, Ma you didn’t even ask me what happened, you always worry about your image more than me.”
“I’m really sorry you know I am, but ever since I got here I’ve had to keep up this image, and yeah I guess I have kind of forgotten about you.”
“Well thanks for acknowledging it, it really makes me feel better.”
“So what happened? Why were you cursing in my dining room at breakfast this morning Isabella?”
“So one of the twins had their phone and they showed me a message.” I started
“So it was from Josh Spencer himself, and he thought… he really thought I wanted to be his girlfriend, and that I should appreciate the chance.”
“No. Never. Ewww. Did you not just hear what I said. I like totally despise that kid he’s such a UGHHHHH!!!” I sighed and started laughing. Soon enough my mom started laughing too. Then she hugged me tight and got up from the couch.
"Oh yeah", she called over her shoulder as she walked up the curved staircase, "Melinda called she says you have to wear something dressy/casual but not overly casual. And she said absolutely no sneakers, especially not those ratty black converses you always have on." I sighed, why can't I just ever wear what I want to wear? Stupid Agent.
"Yea, sure. See you later Ma. I'm going to my room. And thanks for sitting down with me, it really meant a lot.”
"You’re welcome, things like this should happen more between us.” She said looking over the railing, and then she went back into superstar mom mode and wagged her finger at me.
"Don't forget the limo is coming to pick you up in three hours. And Oooh! Maybe you could invite that friend of yours, Emily, or whatever her name is."
"Yeah it's Emily Ma, sure whatever three hours."
I walked over to the other side of the house, passing the glass French doors on the way, overlooking the backyard. The backyard was in one word; massive, it had an Olympic-sized swimming pool with a waterfall and a Jacuzzi, a tennis/basketball court, a rose garden, a large gazebo and a yoga garden. It was ridiculous how much stuff that woman had put in, that she would never use. Plus it was such a complete waste. Isabella kept walking passed the windows and onto the doors that led to the guest house where she stayed.
After her mother, the great Celeste Wilkins, made her first big brake she quickly moved Isabella away from their suburban home, life, and friends into the glamorous celeb life. Isabella was devastated, she didn’t want to leave Mapleridge, New Jersey to go live in some big mansion in L.A. just because her mom got a couple of big roles in some movies. So when they reached L.A. instead of staying in the lavish room her mother had setup for her, she stayed in the guesthouse.
After a couple of weeks her mom was insulted, but Isabella reassured her that this was where she wanted to stay. So instead of pouting, her mom added a kitchen and bath so that Isabella could completely stay there. Isabella loved it; she could be with her mom without actually being with her. She opened the door and walked over to her desk, picked up her iPhone and dialed Emily.
"Hey Em, got to do this stupid thing with Josh Spencer wanna come and hang behind the scenes?" she asked, and then she heard rustling in the background and a yawn from whoever Emily was with.
"Um....Yea sure, what time?"
"Where the hell are you?" I asked getting to the point.
"Um, I...uh, I, Look Is, I slept over a friends house last night don’t freak out, I'm leaving soon anyway", whoever Emily was with made some incoherent noise on the other end, I rolled my eyes and waited for her to return.
"Yea so I'll be there in like an hour."
"Whatever, Em." She hung up and I walked to my closet. Dressy/Casual but not overly casual. What the hell does that even mean?
Isabella sighed heavily and flipped through a couple of outfits before landing on one that seemed o.k. for the event at hand. It was a long-sleeved deep plum ruffle shirt with a black sweater vest, a pair of pin-striped straight-legged black dress pants and a pair of plum flats, good enough for me. She left the clothes on the bed and went to go take a shower.
When I had finished taking a shower and walked out of the bathroom, before I saw the person I knew there had to be someone in my room. I had stupidly opped out of putting on clothes and just had a towel-robe tied loosely around my body. Whoever it was, was being extremely quiet, which either meant they were snooping or trying to sneak up on me. I tried to move quietly to the opposite wall of the hallway, trying to see who was in her room and ended up slipping on an empty Vitamin Water bottle.
"Damnit!" I screamed rubbing my butt, hoping I didn't have any bruises. What in the world was this doing in here? I asked myself still rubbing. I was so enwrapped in making sure I had no bruises that I didn't notice the person who had been in my room come into the hallway and stand, leaning against the doorway staring intently at me. I turned slowly and saw feet; they were clad in a pair of worn blue converses. I really really really didn’t want to look up.
Why, I asked myself, I reluctantly turned to look up, now completely expecting the worse. His blue eyes were penetrating, and instantly drew me in; I couldn’t stop looking at him.
He held out one perfectly sculpted arm to me and simply said,
"Don’t know how to walk much?", he smiled, his big toothy stupid gorgeous smile and I got that butterfly feeling ...................