Grey (Part 2)

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Seconds flew by, and painfully turned into minutes, which in turn, flowed smoothly like the grains
in a sand clock to hours. For hours, I sat there huddled in the cubicle I called my own, my face
pressed indefinitely into my work, my mind sitting there like a tool, processing mindless numbers,
without end, with out stop. I lost my thoughts, and the small hope I had or a life other than that
of a grey, lie spun world. I had lost my reason, and I was one and the same, as those other 458
people hunched over their small desks, people like me who had given up hope of finding a life better
than this. I was one and the same, with these mindless tools of society I so swore to avoid. I had
become, the same thing, the same monster I had thought about leaving everyday, the idea of society.
I had become, a simple part of a brainwashed machine. I am one with the hell of this grey world, I
am one, with the gray people in the room with me. I have lost. I never had a choice, I never had a
hope. Hope was just a bait, a lie. This is the only world. This is the only life. A life of mindless
control, a life of unwanted work. A life of despair, which I could never avoid. Forcibly, I tore
myself away from my calculations, and I stared out the large glass, steel enforced window. My eyes
focused on the outside, and all I could make out was rain. Icy drops battered the small pane of
glass, and with lazy motions, the drops slid earthbound, creating spirals, and tails of water that
left intricate designs onto the glass window. Simple gray rain, on a grey window pane, peppering
downward onto the gray streets below, only to be dwarfed by the gray skyscrapers of society. Gray,
gray all around me, a grey I can't escape. A grey I will never escape. I stared longingly at that
window, and in my mind, I pictured myself. I pictured myself running with all my might towards that
window, and tearing through that barrier of glass. I stared longingly at that window, and I felt the
glass raking my face, as I imagined myself falling silently earth bound, seldom hoping I would hit
the ground and shatter into millions of pieces like the glass I imagined breaking through, I wanted
to break through the glass barrier of society, and just escape. Escape this life based on society,
and live in another world, in a world perceived only through death. A world I hope, in which death
brought a better life. I turned my gaze off that glass front, and I lost all my thoughts, and I
focused my eyes back onto my desk. My eyes stumbled upon that same manila portfolio, that same
stupid world. That same stupid life. I dotn know why, and I still will never know why to this very
day, but in that small split second, something clicked in my brain, and I snapped. Why am I here?
Huh? I have a choice! I've always had, I never seemed to look at it. No matter what, there always
is a choice. There is a life out there that I can live, I just have to make that choice, to
understand that it exists, and to live it, instead of telling myself it doesn't exist. I am not a
mindless tool, I am not a useless discarded tool of society. I have a choice to live. I have a
choice to do what I love. I HAVE A CHOICE!!!!!!! I---HAVE---A----CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For
me, that marked the beginning of the start. 'You know what you useless pieces of ****! You can go
waste your lives in this hell hole, living as demons with no purpose, but I am through with this
crap!!!' With finality, I took my folder and tore it in half, scattering the remainder over the
glimmering parquet. I slid my keys into my pocket, and strode heartily towards the door, covering
distance like I never did before. There it was, right in front of me, the door to freedom, the door
out of this hell, the door to a new life, a new beginning. 'Sean, get your butt back into your
seat, and start working on those papers, or I swear to god, I will demote your pay to 5 cents an
hour!!!!!!!!' Sound erupted from the other side of the room. It was my boss, Tony, the short squat
little guy that gave me my place in this stupid grey world. A world that was old, no longer my own.
A world that seemed so familiar to me, but no it felt so utterly strange. I felt separated, I felt
different, I felt like I was finally living a new life, a world of color. A world of choice. IT felt
good. I whirled around with such ferocity, and with malice, I strode over to Tony. My hands grabbed
handfuls of his cotton three piece grey suit, and I pulled him straight up to my face. I could smell
the stench of the last cigar he smoked, on the tip of his teeth, and I could feel the energetic
power radiating of his skin. Too bad you poor loser, because that power that you have, no longer
does a thing to me. I'm not your stinking tool. I stared him down, and I touched foreheads with
this little excuse for a man. The whites of my eyes shined like glowing balls of fire into his
face, and with no hesitation I spoke: 'I don't need your money, and I don't need this life. I
dotn need your crap, and I no longer care about this world. Today is the day I live anew, and you,
you stupid, pitiful human being, are not gonna' stop me from doing just that, so you can take your
money, and shove it up your butt, because money means nothing to me. I am no longer your tool. Today
is the day I live, and I hope, that everyone of these ignorant fools, sitting cooped up in this
idiotic rom, live as well. Goodbye, and have a nice day' Forcefully, I let go, and I shoved the
small powerful man off, now reduced merely to a pile of rubble, by my burning anger. Goodbye. This
is the last time I will ever see this life. With finality, I strode into that small elevator, and I
watched as time slowed, and I watched, as the door began to close, leaving only a glimpse of the
hell had lived in for most of my life. In less than a second, the door had closed completely. That
was the last I ever saw of that room. The doors opened serenely once more, and I enthusiastically
strode out of the elevator, heading for the exit. On the way, I strode straight past the coat check.
'Hey! Mr? aren't you going to take your hat and your overcoat?' 'no, no, its ok. Just hold
it for me' I never mentioned him I never was coming back. I never was. I left this world, and I
was never going to visit. I don't know what is out there waiting for me, and I dotn know what
experiences this new carefree, love finding life will bring, but I do know, that no matter what,
there always is a choice. There always is a choice. There always will be. Everyone can choose.
Nobody has the right to say they dotn have a choice, because no matter what, you can find color in a
grey world. I know for certain, that I will find this color. Heck, I have already started finding
it With my arms outstretched, I ran outside, and embraced the down pour of rain, and it was only
then, for the first time, when the rain soaked me down to the bone, and when I was cold and
shivering, it was only then, when I realized the beauty of the rain itself. It was only when the
rain washed away my old life, when the rain washed away the gray of this life; it was only then,
when the color began to show. I looked up at the sky, and I let the rain cleanse my body, and I let
it free my soul. With the rain pounding down on my face, and my limbs frozen, I saw the sun peek out
of the clouds. I fell to my knees, and I cried. I cried from joy.





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