From Deep Within Yourself

June 24, 2009
My name is Izzy. I am 13 years old. My parents just recently got divorced and my world came crashing down. My dad moved me from Maine to California. I was away from the friends I had had for 13 years. When I moved to California I couldn't make any friends and I wasn't allowed to call any of my friends or my mom.
I felt like my world was crashing in beneath me. I was getting mad at my dad all the time and he couldn't figure it out. That was when I became suicidal. Every time I saw a bridge I felt like jumping off. Every window was an escape route.
When I was just sitting around I always felt like I wanted to jump out a window. I always said I would but then there was a distraction like a good show on TV or my dad walked in the door.
I knew I would jump someday but I didn't know when. I couldn't wait to get out of this life. My life.
I was ready. I was going to jump. This was it. This was the end. By this time I was 18 years old. It had taken me 5 years to do this but it was going to happen today.
I had one foot off the ledge when I saw a sight I will never forget. A man was being mugged on the busiest street in Los Angeles in broad daylight and not a single person was helping him. I couldn't believe how cruel people in this world were.
I came inside from the ledge and went outside to help the man and he thanked me profusely. I was amazed at how many nasty looks I got from people walking by. One woman stopped and said "Why did you just help that man? You didn't know him." and I replied, "Because that is the right thing to do." The woman just told me that this was LA and people didn't care about the right thing.
As I was walking back up to my apartment I was debating whether to go back out on the ledge or not. I decided that what I had seen had changed my perspective on life. I was no longer suicidal.
My life was changed and everyone could see it and they had no problem telling me. I was amazed how one simple moment had made such a difference in my life. Just 2 minutes of helping someone turned my whole life around.
My dad looked me in the eyes a few days later and asked me what had made my life so different.
As I explained to him that I was on the ledge and ready to jump when I saw the man being mugged he hugged me and told me he had no idea that I was that upset.
The next day I decided that I needed to make a drastic change to my life but I didn't know what it would be yet.
As Izzy sat on the side of her bed with her bags packed and her father yelling up at her to come down because it was time to go she couldn't help but wonder if she was making the right choice. So many things were running through her mind. Things like 'Will I really be able to change the world?' and 'How am I supposed to make the world a better place when all I know about is the pain in the world?'
"Come on Izzy we're going to be late!" Izzy's father yelled.
"COMING!" Izzy yelled as she took a deep breath and stood up.
As Izzy and her father got into the car Izzy looked back at the house knowing that this could be the last time she would see this house in a long time.
"Are you sure you’re ready for this, Izzy?" Her father questioned.
"I'm sure, dad. Besides, If I don't do this who will?" Izzy replied.
"But college? I mean it's such a big responsibility and how do I know you'll be OK?" Her father asked her still worried.
"I know college is a big responsibility but I am ready for it. And you are just going to have to trust me on the being OK part." Izzy replied with all the courage she could muster.
As Izzy and her father pulled into the airport she was having second thoughts.
"I don't know if I'm ready for this dad." Izzy said.
"You are pumpkin. I promise." Her dad told her as he placed a brand new cell phone in her hands.
"Dad, what's this?" Izzy said as she looked at the cell phone.
"It's a new cell phone. I figure you'll need it when you get to college. There is also a new laptop in your carry on bag." Her father replied.
"I love you dad. And I am going to miss you." Izzy said as she hugged him.
"There's your flight. You better get going." Izzy's father said as he urged her to get on the plane.
"I love you dad and I promise I will call you as soon as I get to NIU." Izzy called over her shoulder as she rushed towards the gate.
As Izzy got on the plane she knew she would be OK even though she didn't know anyone in Illinois.
As the plane took off Izzy was just falling into a deep sleep. The last thing she remembered was the person in the seat behind her having a disagreement about something stupid and she remembered telling them that life is too short to argue.
"BRIAN! I'm so glad I found you! Wait, what's wrong?" Izzy shouted as she ran across the campus lawn toward her new fiancé.
"Nothing." Brian lied as he walked toward his fiancé.
"Don't lie to me Brian Stuart!" Izzy said as she hugged him.
"O.k. well I hate to say it but I have been looking for you all day too. But probably not for the same reason you were looking for me." Brian said with a pained expression. "I think that we need to break off the engagement and break up."
"WHY?" Izzy screamed as she backed away.
"Well I found someone that is just better for me." Brian said as a tall, brunette woman walked up next to him.
"Fine. Goodbye." Izzy said as she handed him the 24 carat diamond ring and ran away.
Later, when she was back in her room crying her roommate came in. She immediately ran to Izzy's bed. When Izzy had told her what happened she went to the store to get A LOT of ice cream.
When Izzy's roommate came back from the store she looked up outside of the dorms. That's when she saw Izzy on the ledge. 3 weeks after Izzy's death they had the funeral. There were a lot of people there.
Even Brian showed up with his new girlfriend but they didn't pay any attention because they were too busy making out the entire time.
Izzy's roommate started a charity for depressed people to come to for help. It was a huge success.
Brian and his girlfriend got married and divorced a year later. Brian met Izzy's roommate for coffee and they fell in love. Now they are married and now have 2 children named Rosalie Crystal Stuart and John Michael Stuart.
Izzy's father never really moved on and committed suicide 8 months after Izzy's death.
Izzy's college put up a memorial for Izzy and it still stands there even after 5 years.





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