Pleeding to Belong

June 3, 2009
Icy hands grip the heart of a teenage girl, as she wonders aimlessly through the halls looking for a clique to call home; but instead she’s invisible to everyone around her including some of the teachers, silently the tears fall from her eyes like rain in a storm, she swipes them away with the back of her hand struggling to keep her emotions locked away inside her clawing around inside her like a hungry lion ready to devour her whole.

The ten minute bell rings she already has her stuff ready for her first class so she finds herself making her way through the crowded halls to the classroom, by the time she reaches her class the tears have stopped, she forces herself to smile and put on the mask of “I’m okay, I promise.” Calmly she opens the door and slips into her seat without making a sound, her teacher looks up and gives her a warm smile as if to say; “Good morning, dear” she smiles a tight smile in return.

Anxiously she twists the ring on her right thumb waiting for the rest of her class to come through the door mentally preparing herself for the taunts and snickers, which fallowed her throughout her day.
The rest of her class comes in, two boys come inside after the bell and smile sickly sweet toward the teacher then going to sit one on either side of her, she feels herself getting sick as one of the boy’s places a hand upon the lower part of her leg and slowly moves his hand upward until it’s on her knee, shivering inside her sweatshirt she feels as if her lower leg and now her knee are engulfed by an invisible inferno, shuddering she attempts to remove his hand with her own, dropping his hand, he slyly says “Sorry, thought your leg was mine.”
She just keeps silent, knowing that if she opened her mouth to speak she’d burst into tears in front of the entire class and she’d be labeled a cry baby, taking a couple of shaky breaths she felt a little calmer, until she feels his hand on her leg again trembling she attempts to shift her weight so that both her legs are facing the other direction.
The boy passes her a note folded into a neat square, with shaking fingers she opens it and finds the words “You’re pretty.” Then in smaller lettering it read “Pretty ugly.” Her heart skips a couple beats and she rereads the note, smiling the tiniest of smiles she whispers “Thank you, you have no idea of how much this means to me.” The boy smiles back, but once the girl’s back is turned he rolls his eyes at his friend and mouth “What a complete psycho.”
Thankfully she doesn’t hear, she begins to ask herself, “Does this mean that when he put his hand on my leg he was trying to get my attention so I’d realize that he liked me?” the bell rang and she hurried to the door and then stopped and smiled as the boy made his way over to the door, and smirked and said; “How dumb are you?” confused she asked “What do you mean? I thought you said I was pretty.” Laughing a cruel laugh he said; “Read the bottom of the note, loser.” She quickly opens the note and reads the bottom of the note, trembling she crumples it up into a ball and throws it into the waste basket and bites her lip to keep herself from crying.
Bolting for the door she hurries to the bathroom nearly running into people as she goes past, tears streaming down her face.
Skidding into the closest stall she slams the door and bolts the door and searches franticly for something to help dull the pain that she feels inside finally she finds a mechanical pencil, with trembling fingers she brings the lead out a little, and pulls up a corner of her pant leg and presses the lead to her ankle and slowly jerks down until a few crimson drops fall like her tears.

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~*The-Broken-Hearted-Girl*~ said...
Sept. 27, 2009 at 5:16 pm
:,( this made me cry. really good tho. really good. :)
Gothic_Ballerina replied...
Sept. 28, 2009 at 11:06 am
Thank you... so how r u? Have a Great Day ^.^
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