Failure

Charlotte sat outside on her front porch steps. She took a deep breath as the summer air filled her lungs. She wanted all the sadness inside to go away, every last bit of it. As if being sixteen wasn't hard enough. Tears filled her eyes, she kept thinking of the only way out of her miserable life. Being bipolar wasn't easy either, everyone seemed to know what it was but, no, they didn't. They didn't really understand what it was like.
"I will always be a failure to the world." She moaned, letting a few tears slip onto her lips. The worst part was her suffering would never end, or at least it wouldn't seem to. Three stupid years of her life spent being depressed, being in foster care, being in pain. She felt sick inside and wanted to scream, but she couldn't even muster up enough energy to stand. No one could know what this was like, not anybody could feel this horrible. She had nothing to cut with, feeling her own blood on her hands made her feel sense of power, but no blood today. The air brushed against her and coaxed her into believing that everything would be fine. Her heart pounded and the tears poured out, her life would never change.
"I'm such a monster." She had actually tried to kill her seven year old sister only a few years before. That was the day she had finally lost it, that was the day she was noted as a real criminal. She tried to swallow her tears but she just kept choking. This was the kind of misery no one wanted to feel. It took her over like darkness takes over the sky at night. Like a warm blanket, the thought of death wrapped around her and squeezed her close. She shut her eyes and nothing looked different, just darkness, pain and hate. She felt completely emotionless, except for the depression. Her thoughts could no longer wander to a happier place. This would be how it would be for the rest of her damn life.





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