The Recital

May 28, 2009
By PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"


The twists and turns of the music was enough to sweep you off your feet. Then again, the twists and turns in my stomach could do the same thing. "You're next." Steven whispers in my ear. "Okay,"is my reply. I shakily walk to the curtain to see the end of the last performance. Applause. A standing ovation! "Steven, I can't do this!" I say clutching onto his arm. My brother just smiled and said comfortingly, "You'll do fine, Mia." He pushed me gently onto the stage. "Hello, dear. We are going to be the judges for you today," said a smiling woman."What is your name?" "Mia. Mia Valentine."I told her hoarsley. "What will you be playing on the piano?" Asked the man beside the lady. "Shadow Dance, composed by Martha Mier, from the book Romantic Sketches. "Whenever you are ready," The lady said. I touched the Ivory keys. I placed my hands in position. 1 note, two notes... My fingers skidded across the piano. The crescendo was getting louder as my heartbeat was. I stood, bowed. Silence. One clap. Two claps. Full fledged applause. Ovation. Tears rushed to my eyes while I stood smiling.I looked at the judges. The were amazed. "Mia, we would like to present you with the award of 1000 dollars. You did wonderful!" They said awestruck. I had done it. I had completed the Recital.


The author's comments:
Disclaimer: As I said in my story, Martha Mier wrote Romantic Sketches, and Shadow Dance. Not me. If you ever need a piano book, I highly reccomend that one! :D Comment please!

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This article has 7 comments.


PenInHand GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2010 at 6:36 pm
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"

Thanks again for commenting! I really appreciate the advice! But as usual, this was one of my pieces that took 5 minutes to write with no editing. So I'll definitely make the changes and try to improve with the critiques you provided me with. Thanks! =]

PenInHand GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2010 at 6:33 pm
PenInHand GOLD, Fayetteville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Kemps!"

Thanks, this one's kinda one of those based off a true story things, because I had to play the same piece for a piano competition, with all ten of my fingers burnt. I was so nervous. So I defintely had fun writing this!

on Jul. 19 2010 at 10:01 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

Ok, so I really want to LOVE this piece because I've played the piano for... too many years, and can definitely relate to the nervewracking experience this girl was going through. But I do have some things that could make this better.

First, you need to have seperate paragraphs. It was all one strand, so it made it hard to read. Learning how to separate a story is really key in how the reader interprets what you are trying to say.

Also, the main point of this story is to describe the feeling of being judged, wondering if this talent of yours is good enough... if you can actually do it. I feel like you could have used a little more embellishment on the actual playing section. It was a little rushed, which leads me to my last critique...

The ending was kind of bizarre. Like all of a sudden the judges are like "Here's one-thousand dollars! We're not even going to talk about it!" Kind of unrealistic, for a very realistic piece.

Ok, I know that was a lot, but I really wouldn't be making this many suggestions if I didn't like it in my own way. Really, the changes would be minor. You have the perfect frame for this story. You just need to build the interior a little better.

Keep writing!


on Jul. 19 2010 at 6:52 pm
mudpuppy BRONZE, Orangeburg, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 475 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.

I was so into this piece that I was nervous for her! :)

on Jul. 6 2009 at 4:06 am
E.Gaffney SILVER, New Bedford, Massachusetts
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing in this life worth having comes easy." -Scrubs
"Don't tell anyone anything or you'll start missing everyone."- The Catcher in the Rye
"There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just life."- One Tree Hill

this was very good you could almost feel the emotions she was going through herself.

on Jun. 26 2009 at 11:46 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

Thank you SO much for leaving that comment on my "Close to my heart." article. Thank you!

on Jun. 24 2009 at 4:19 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

very beautiful. Wonderfully written.




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