The Recital

May 28, 2009
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The twists and turns of the music was enough to sweep you off your feet. Then again, the twists and turns in my stomach could do the same thing. "You're next." Steven whispers in my ear. "Okay,"is my reply. I shakily walk to the curtain to see the end of the last performance. Applause. A standing ovation! "Steven, I can't do this!" I say clutching onto his arm. My brother just smiled and said comfortingly, "You'll do fine, Mia." He pushed me gently onto the stage. "Hello, dear. We are going to be the judges for you today," said a smiling woman."What is your name?" "Mia. Mia Valentine."I told her hoarsley. "What will you be playing on the piano?" Asked the man beside the lady. "Shadow Dance, composed by Martha Mier, from the book Romantic Sketches. "Whenever you are ready," The lady said. I touched the Ivory keys. I placed my hands in position. 1 note, two notes... My fingers skidded across the piano. The crescendo was getting louder as my heartbeat was. I stood, bowed. Silence. One clap. Two claps. Full fledged applause. Ovation. Tears rushed to my eyes while I stood smiling.I looked at the judges. The were amazed. "Mia, we would like to present you with the award of 1000 dollars. You did wonderful!" They said awestruck. I had done it. I had completed the Recital.

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sleeplessdreamer said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Ok, so I really want to LOVE this piece because I've played the piano for... too many years, and can definitely relate to the nervewracking experience this girl was going through. But I do have some things that could make this better.

First, you need to have seperate paragraphs. It was all one strand, so it made it hard to read. Learning how to separate a story is really key in how the reader interprets what you are trying to say.

Also, the main point of this story is to describ... (more »)

PeaceLovePiggy replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Thanks again for commenting! I really appreciate the advice! But as usual, this was one of my pieces that took 5 minutes to write with no editing. So I'll definitely make the changes and try to improve with the critiques you provided me with. Thanks! =]
mudpuppy said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 6:52 pm
I was so into this piece that I was nervous for her! :)
PeaceLovePiggy replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Thanks, this one's kinda one of those based off a true story things, because I had to play the same piece for a piano competition, with all ten of my fingers burnt. I was so nervous. So I defintely had fun writing this!
takeitspiderman said...
Jul. 6, 2009 at 4:06 am
this was very good you could almost feel the emotions she was going through herself.
sallyloco said...
Jun. 26, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Thank you SO much for leaving that comment on my "Close to my heart." article. Thank you!
sallyloco said...
Jun. 24, 2009 at 4:19 pm
very beautiful. Wonderfully written.
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