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Regret

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The red and blue lights illuminated the night sky. The sirens were so loud; a deaf person couldn’t escape them. I ran and ran but the lights and the noise followed. I ran for miles and still they followed. Almost as if they were haunting me. I stopped suddenly when I saw someone lying on the sidewalk a few yards ahead of me. I slowly walked up to the body, lifeless body. The lights and sirens disappeared. I knelt down to see the face but there wasn’t one. All the light in the world couldn’t reveal this face to me; just a body. It was a woman in her 40’s wearing a maroon sweater. I put my hand over her heart to check for a beat but when I laid my hand on her chest she disappeared; leaving behind nothing but a chalk outline. I quickly stood up and backed away, tripping over a crack in sidewalk and falling. I expected to hit the hard concrete sidewalk but I landed smack in the middle of a morgue. The room was so bright and the green and white checkered tile I was sitting on made the room a little eerie. The body I had seen on the sidewalk was now lying on the table. Doctors all around her speaking in what seemed like a foreign tongue. The only words I recognized were “murder” and “stab wounds”. The doctors finally left the room, covering the woman with a white sheet. All that was showing were her feet, a name tag tied to her toe. I stood up and cautiously walked over to the body. I pulled back the sheet, hoping to see a face but all that was under the sheet was a mirror. I looked into the eerie glass and the reflection looking back wasn’t mine. I touched the glass and the faceless woman did the same. Every action, every move I made; she mimicked. I stepped away from the mirror and shook away the images. When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in the morgue. I was sitting on the comfy leather couch in my living room. The air was cool and the house was quiet. A shiver worked its way up my spine making the hairs on my neck stand. I looked around for something, anything that would help me figure out what was going on. When I returned my gaze to the dining room there were people. People dressed in black; people just standing. I walked into the dining room to possibly talk to one of these motionless characters and spotted a coffin in the corner. I sauntered over towards the coffin. It was open, and the faceless woman was lying inside this time wearing a beautiful black dress. Lying next to her head was the name tag that was tied to her toe in the morgue. I picked up the tag to read the name and suddenly peoples sobs and screams filled the once silent room. The screams were so loud it shook the chandelier hanging over the dining room table. I covered my ears with my hands, dropping the tag. As soon as the tag hit the ground it went up in flames. The flames caught the table cloth and it spread like wild. The motionless people didn’t move, they didn’t even act like the house was burning down. From the table cloth to the curtains, and from the curtains to a woman’s dress; the fire raged on. I wanted to move, I wanted to run over to the woman and put the fire out but my feet were stuck. I couldn’t budge. The room didn’t seem to get any hotter and it didn’t smell like fire. It was as if I was in a glass box. I reached my hand out for the burning woman but she just melted. A manikin, she was a manikin, they were all manikins. I looked over to the coffin but it was already in ashes. My home burnt down around me. Reality stricken, I began to panic. It became harder and harder to breathe until I was passed out.
I woke up in my bed, the sun shining, and a sweet syrupy aroma filled the air. I got out of bed and checked the clock. 7:45AM January 4, 2009. I was awake now. The horror couldn’t reach me any longer. Well that’s what I thought until I remembered the significance of today. One year ago today my mother was murdered. Life since her death hasn’t really been life at all. Without her I feel empty. But her memory is with me and always will be. The last words I said to my mom before she passed were horrible.
“I hate you. Why don’t you just leave me the hell alone.”
I regret those words more than anything. I just want my mom back.





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